The CooperFowler Proposal
by lovepass77
Summary: Sheldon and Amy go on a scientific expedition to Yosemite National Park where they get to know each other a lot better. Amy keeps proposing new fun things for them to do together in order to make Sheldon more comfortable with physical contact between them. This is story is based off the Isolation Permutation episode of Season 5.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** **The Cooper-Fowler Proposal **

**Author:** lovepass77

**Rating: T** for sexuality and language

**Genre:** Romance/Comfort

**Summary:** In the Isolation Permutation episode Amy convinced Sheldon to cuddle with her after a long negotiation process where they each proposed different forms of human intimate acts and physical contact to do with one another. So I've written a fun little camping trip story to allow some of those acts to come to past.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of these characters. They all belong to CBS and Chuck Lorre.

**Recap:** Just for your convenience here's a short quote by quote recap of their proposals to one another during the episode.

_Amy: "Proposal. One wild night of torrid lovemaking that soothes my soul and inflames my loins."_

_Sheldon: "Counterproposal. I will gently stroke your head and repeat, aw, who's a good Amy."_

_Amy: "How about this? French kissing, seven minutes in heaven culminating in second base."_

_Sheldon: "Neck massage, then you get me that beverage."_

_Amy: "We cuddle. Final offer."_

_Sheldon: "Very well." _

* * *

**Chapter 1: The Neck Massage Negotiation **

Dr. Sheldon Cooper walks up to apartment 314. He just received some very upsetting news so he's come to discuss it with his girlfriend Amy Farrah Fowler. As Sheldon approaches the door he can hear her inside singing and playing the harp. He pauses outside the door to listen for a moment before knocking on her door.

Amy sits on a small wooden stool by her harp. She passionately plucks the harp strings as she sweetly sings one of her favorite songs by a band called Cheap Trick. In her mind this song represents how she feels about Sheldon.

Amy: _**"I want you to want me. **_

_**I need you to need me. **_

_**I'd love you to love me. **_

_**I'm beggin' you to beg me.**_

_**I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt. **_

_**I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me."**_

Sheldon has heard enough of this sappy love song so he decides to interrupt her singing. He knocks three times in his usual manner.

Sheldon: "Amy!"

He knocks three more times. Amy stops singing and smiles as she looks towards the door excited to hear his voice again.

Sheldon: "Amy!"

Hearing her name come out of his lips makes Amy tingle with delight inside. She stands up and walks towards the door anxious to see him, but she knows she can't open it until he finishes his compulsive, customary knocking routine.

Sheldon knocks again three final times just slightly louder than the first two series of knocks.

"Amy" he calls out one last time expecting an immediate response from her.

She opens the door with a smile on her face.

Amy: "Hello, Sheldon come in. I received your electronic communication, but didn't respond back because I am not familiar with the slang terminology you used. What does K.M.N mean?"

Sheldon walks in to her apartment with a frown on his face.

Sheldon: "K.M.N is a colloquial expression used on the internet amongst urban youth. It means kill me now. I had the misfortunate of learning the term after some ungrateful students tweeted about me. Remember I told you about them and you suggested I try to learn acting to impress them, but Penny turned out to be an awful teacher."

Amy thinks about it for a second then nods her head.

Sheldon sighs sadly then sits down on the couch looking forlorn. Amy can already tell that Sheldon is quite upset about something so she heads for the kitchen.

Amy: "What will it be this time Sheldon? Hot cocoa, tea or perhaps you'd like me to heat up some Strawberry Nesquik?

Sheldon: "Unless you have some hot arsenic back there I don't see the use of any beverages at this point."

Amy: "Of course I have some," she says in a matter of fact tone without realizing he is actually being sarcastic at the moment.

Amy opens one of her kitchen cabinets containing numerous vials of chemical compounds organized by their atomic number and mass. She looks for a bottle of arsenic trioxide, finds it and takes it out of the cabinet.

Sheldon: "Amy, my career has reached a depressing dead end. I've devoted my entire life to solving the mysteries of the universe and it's all been for naught. I might as well retire to a life of teaching fifth graders how to make macaroni art dioramas and volcanoes out of baking soda. Perhaps even give up entirely join the liberal arts department and become completely useless to society.

Sheldon leans his aching head and neck against her couch hoping it will offer him a little relief from the pain. He pouts his lip out a bit like a whining toddler waiting for her to comfort him.

Amy leaves the bottle of arsenic on the counter and frowns with worry. She walks around the couch to sit down beside him.

Amy: "What do you mean your career is over?"

He sits up straight again so he can tell her what happened.

Sheldon: "Today, President Seibert announced in the cafeteria that he authorized an unreasonable charitable donation to some new urban youth group. Now the board of education at our university has put together a team of scientists from different departments to go on a scientific expedition with inner city students. These kids have absolutely no scientific background whatsoever. That means I, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper one of the worlds most decelerated theoretical physicists will be forced to work with geologists and biologists and…."

He pauses for a second with a look of extreme disgust on his face at what he has to do.

Sheldon: "….even anthropologists!"

Amy: "Oh come on, Sheldon it doesn't sound that bad. You might even have fun."

Sheldon: "Not that bad? Why its scientific chaos waiting to happen! I can barely stand working on projects with lesser minds like Leonard and Koothrappali who are at least physicists. Most of the scientists on the team already hate me for my genius and the physic department beat them in semi-annual paintball championship. This is a nightmare.

Amy sighs, but she doesn't say anything until he finishes his rant.

Sheldon: "Some of these so called scientists wouldn't know the first thing about histrionic string theory. We will be lucky if the urban youth gangsters we are being forced to babysit on this excursion murder us on the bus before we leave the school grounds because that is only the half of it. We're going on a scientific expedition to Yosemite national forest do you realize what that means? It means camping Amy!"

Sheldon stands up; he rubs his aching neck and starts pacing back and forth behind Amy's couch.

Sheldon: "Part of the reason I became a theoretical physicist is because it involves mostly indoor activities. At least once a year Leonard, Koothrappali and Wolowitz go on a camping trip to the desert and I never go with them. I always stay home and work on solving the mysteries of the universe. This is an unmitigated disaster waiting to happen. Everything in the woods terrifies me."

Amy: "Well why didn't you ask President Siebert to just take you off the team then?"

Sheldon stops pacing for a moment then frowns at her for asking him that question.

Sheldon: "Don't you think I tried that! President Siebert basically said he'll fire me all together if I quit the team. This is worst than when he made me take a vacation."

He keeps rubbing his neck and pouting his lip out about having to go on this camping trip.

Amy: "Sheldon, come sit down. I might be able to help."

Sheldon keeps pouting, but he sits down again on the couch next to Amy.

She gently smiles at him then leans over to rub hand sanitizer on her palms.

Amy: "Take off your jacket."

Sheldon removes his jacket and places it neatly on the back of the couch.

Amy reaches up her hands to massage his neck, but Sheldon moves further away from her on the couch.

Sheldon: "Amy, wait! Uh…what are you trying to do?"

Amy: "You need to relax, and I believe that pain in your neck counts under the booboos and ouches section of our relationship agreement. Don't you?"

Sheldon thinks about this not sure how to respond at first. Truthfully, he didn't even think to add neck massaging to their relationship agreement at all because of his severe dislike for most human contact.

Then he remembers that Amy once told him how to perform a neck massage on himself and it gave him amazing relief. Still he never considered allowing her to give him one. The throbbing veins in his neck demand attention so Sheldon decides that he will forgo the agreement and allow Amy to touch him just this once to relieve the pain in his neck, but first he wants to set some ground rules.

Sheldon: "You must promise to only touch my neck and the back of my shoulders nothing else."

Amy nods at him with seemingly innocent intentions.

Sheldon: "And you promise to stop when I say I've had enough?"

Amy nods again, but this time she moves close to him on the couch as she does so.

Sheldon: "Also, if this doesn't work I want some Aspirin instead."

Amy: "Okay, but in order for me to do this properly you need to also take off your shirt."

He starts to feel incredibly nervous.

Sheldon: "Oh boy! Uh, are you sure that is necessary? "

She smiles at him and rubs more sanitizer on her hands.

Amy: "Yes, trust me; I know what I'm doing."

Sheldon sighs in frustration. He decides it can not be any worse than allowing his mother or Penny to put vapor rub on his chest so he slowly begins to remove his red Flash t-shirt and his long sleeved striped undershirt.

Amy lets her eyes linger as Sheldon's soft round belly button comes into her view for the first time. She licks her pink lips as he pulls his shirt up revealing his very pale smooth stomach and small pink nipples.

Amy feels a warm sensation spreading through her extremities as his shirt comes up over his shoulders and reveals short brown curly hairs dotting his enclave chest cavity.

She watches happily as light freckles along his rib cage move gently up and down with the rhythm of his breathing.

Sheldon begins to fold his shirts neatly then he places them on her coffee table. He is still too nervous to look at her so he turns away so his back is facing her.

Sheldon: "Okay let's get this over with."

Amy trails her eyes down the sharp jutting bones of his spine towards his hips. She lets out a small sigh and whispers "Whooo," under her breath.

Sheldon: "What? Did you say something?"

Her cheeks start to turn red with embarrassment and she is glad he is facing away from her otherwise she feels like she might try to jump his bones right now.

Amy: "Uh nothing, I didn't say anything."

Amy slowly reaches her hands up to touch Sheldon's bare shoulders. She locates a myofascial trigger point at the base of Sheldon's neck and rotates it. Then she bears down on it to relax the contracted muscles in his shoulders. She moves her fingers in slow kneading counterclockwise position.

Amy: "Hey Sheldon, I have a proposal for you so please keep an open mind. What would you say about me accompanying you on this camping trip? I mean I was a boy scout for two years before they found out I was a girl so I might be able to help you out in the wild."

Sheldon does not speak but instead his breathing becomes erratic; he straightens his back and tightly grips the back of the couch with his hand enjoying the intense irresistible pleasure of her hands. She moves her hands down past his shoulders sending exquisite electric shocks through his extremities.

Amy: "So what do you think? Can I come with you?"

Sheldon: "Yes...Oh god…Yes!"

She grins with excitement knowing that finally she has Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper right where she wants him. He is putty in her hands and she is very pleased with herself for winning yet another negotiation. Ever since he held her hand during Wolowitz's space launch Amy has been hoping to get some alone time with her man and now she has her chance.

Sheldon: "Just don't stop!"

Amy continues kneading his shoulders as she makes a quick mental note to send an email to President Seibert to thank him for deciding to allow his university to participate in the charitable organization that she suggested to him a month earlier.

* * *

**Author's Note: I hope people will enjoy this new story because my first fan fic Schrödinger's Catastrophe is full of a lot of sad angst for this couple so I want to make this one a happier SHAMY story. I'll do my best to keep them in character, but just a heads up Sheldon will be experiencing quite a lot of physical contact with Amy and a few others in this story so I'm letting everyone know that now in case people think that its out of character for Sheldon to be so intimate this story is more about showing a sexier side of Sheldon. Sorry, in advance if that offends anyone. **

**I just want it to be more fun, romantic and sexy, but not vulgar. I'm not sure if they'll get as far as coitus I'll probably stop before it goes that far just depends on whether people like what I'm writing or not. So if you have any feedback please leave comments and thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: The Hand-Holding, Head Stroking Hypothesis **

Sheldon: "Kripke! Move you're in our spot!"

Dr. Barry Kripke turns his head and rolls his eyes at the sight of Sheldon looking down at him with an irritated expression.

Barry [in his Elmer Fudd voice]: "What's y-w-our probl-w-em Coo-w-per! There are ple-w-nty of oth –w-er seats on this bus. W-hy, don't you go s-w-it in the back w-ith the o-w-ther los-w-ers."

Sheldon glares at Barry as he puts down his emergency survival carry on bag.

Sheldon: "You know very well that I called dibs on this seat during the team meeting. This seat is cattycorner to the driver so I can make sure he is maintaining the proper speed limit, but not directly behind him where we'd be subject to his fan blowing on us the entire way. It's close enough to the door in case of an emergency, but provides a barrier between the door and our seat so we don't get trampled by people coming in and off the bus. So don't make me call Dr. Gablehauser, Kripke because you know I'll do it!"

Kripke: "Bi-w-te me, Cooper!"

Amy stands behind Sheldon on the bus and sighs in frustration as she checks her watch. They only arrived at the school parking lot four minutes and thirty nine seconds ago and here Sheldon is already arguing with one of his teammates.

Sheldon stomps his foot like a child ready to throw a tantrum over his seat on the bus. He pulls out his cell-phone preparing to call Dr. Gablehauser who he already has on speed dial. But, Amy touches Sheldon's arm to get him to put the phone down before he totally embarrasses them both.

Amy: "Gentlemen, please surely there is a better way to settle this?"

Sheldon pauses to think about it then he looks at Kripke again. Barry stares back at Sheldon and they both have the same idea at the same time.

Sheldon puts his hand out straight in front of him then he curls his fingers into a tight fist. Kripke does the same thing with his hand as they prepared to settle this seat debate with a classic game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock.

"Rock, Paper, Sc-wiss-w-ors, Lizard, Spock," they exclaim loudly right before Sheldon makes the Spock Sign with his hand and so does Kripke. Then they both gasp in frustration with themselves for choosing the same sign.

Amy rolls her eyes at them then she sees the leader of the charity organization getting on the bus. Amy has been corresponding online with Dr. Pamela Feynman for quite awhile and now she realizes this is perfect timing for her arrival.

Amy: "Hello, Dr. Feynman, nice to see you again."

Pamela: "Hello, Dr. Fowler and please you can call me Pami."

_Dr. Pamela (Pami) Feynman is thirty-one year old botanist with fiery auburn hair and a tall, curvy frame. To Sheldon she looks like a slightly nerdy version of Pamela Lillian Isley also known as Poison Ivy from the DC Comic universe. She is dressed in a pair of khaki shorts, brown Birkenstocks, a tight dark hunter green v-neck t-shirt with her charity logo on it and a long brown hiking vest with lots of pockets and buckles on it. Dr. Pami Feynman also happens to be a distant relative to the late, great Richard Feynman one of Sheldon's idols. _

Amy smiles at her politely though she has no intention of calling Pamela by her nickname. Instead, she firmly shakes her hand then Amy points towards Sheldon.

Amy: "May I introduce you to my boyfriend, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, leading theoretical physicist at Cal-Tech University focusing on M-theory. Sheldon, this is Dr. Pamela Feynman, head botanist at STAR Labs out of Seattle, Washington. She also has a PH.D in physics."

Pamela grins happily at both of them and extends her hand out to shake Sheldon's hand.

Pamela: "Please to me you Dr. Cooper."

Sheldon smiles for a moment while whispering a quick "Hello."

Sheldon: "Two PhDs, huh? That's pretty impressive, but since one is in the field of biology with a focus on plants and flowers you really can't boast too much about that."

Pamela wrinkles her brow then looks at Amy confused and not sure how to respond to Sheldon's strange condescending comment. Amy decides to deflect her attention away from it before Pami can respond.

Amy: "Dr. Feynman, I'd also like you to meet Dr. Barry Kripke, he works with Sheldon at the university and is also a physicist."

Sheldon scoffs as he turns to look at Kripke again.

Sheldon: "Though not a very good one."

Kripke ignores Sheldon's rude comment as he smirks at Pamela. He brushes the side of his hair back with one hand as he prepares to put the moves on this sexy looking new scientist.

Kripke: "H-w-llo, Pamela and may I say th-w-at's a pr-w-etty hot name y-w-ou have th-w-ere. ."

Pamela giggles a bit because she assumes Barry is trying to be sarcastic then she shakes his hand.

Pamela: "Yes, you may."

Amy grins happily to see that they are getting along so far, but Sheldon rolls his eyes ready to start ignoring what in his mind is nothing more than pointless chit chat.

Amy: "Pamela, here is an excellent hiker and rock climber."

Amy winks at Barry knowing that he likes those hobbies too and Barry smiles back at both ladies.

Barry: "R-w-eally, you don't say. Well I love rock cli-w-bing mys-w-elf been doing it for y-w-ears."

Amy: "Then why don't the two of you go sit over there and talk about your mutual interests that in no way interest Sheldon or myself."

Amy grins as she points to an empty seat near the back of the bus. Both Pamela and Barry look at the seat than at each other.

Pamela: "Sure why not."

Barry finally stands up ready to give up the seat he's currently in to Amy and Sheldon.

Amy slightly pushes Sheldon out of the aisle way so Pamela can walk past them. Barry stares at her butt as Pamela walks towards the seat near the back. He grins then nudges Sheldon in the side.

Barry: "Hey, C-w-ooper, this trip might not su-w-ck the big one aft-w-er all. We might actu-w-ally get laid."

Sheldon wrinkles his nose at that idea because he thinks it sounds utterly ridiculous.

Barry follows Pamela to the back of the bus and sits down beside her.

Sheldon: "Speak for yourself," he whispers after Kripke has already walked away. He places his emergency bag up above the seats on the luggage shelf then slumps down in the seat by the window.

Amy puts her purse up on the shelf then sits beside Sheldon and takes his hand.

Sheldon looks down at their hands in surprise then up at Amy's face. He frowns at her.

Sheldon: "Amy, what are you doing now? This is not in our agreement."

Amy: "Sorry Sheldon, but you already broke our agreement on hand-holding back at your apartment. So I'm entitled to do the same. Besides, we are a couple now and it is a customary social convention for couples to hold hands on the bus. When I was in elementary school I remember that all the popular girls held hand with their boyfriends…you know when they weren't throwing gum in my hair."

Sheldon's frown deepens as he looks at her in shock and confusion.

Sheldon: "They actually threw gum at you? That's terrible."

Amy: "Oh that wasn't so bad, those girls were friendly compared to the boys who threw rocks at me once we got off the bus."

Sheldon sighs in reluctant submission feeling enough pity for her to continue to let her hold his hand at least until the bus starts.

Sheldon: "Amy, do you think once we get to the first rest stop the two of us can go over my new bathroom schedule. I printed laminated copies for everyone, but I want to make sure everything on it is okay with you because I haven't had a chance to download your menstrual cycle schedule yet."

Amy: "No need to worry about that. I'm not on my period Sheldon. In fact, I won't be for the entire trip."

She grins at Sheldon hoping he'll catch her meaning for saying this, but he doesn't.

Sheldon: "Good, because there are probably billions of mosquitoes out there carrying God knows how many disgusting blood borne pathogens and menstrual bleeding would make you their prime target."

Amy ignores his comment and pulls out a map of the camp site to show him.

Amy: "As you requested Sheldon, I arranged for you to have your own cabin at the camp grounds. I am supposed to share one with Pamela, but I don't have to."

Sheldon: "Well that's up to you and her. Does she snore?"

Amy: "No, I mean I could come and stay in your room some night if you want me to?"

Sheldon wrinkles his brow and stares at her like she has gone mad.

Sheldon: "Why would I want that?"

Amy: "Well there are lots of teenagers coming on this trip with us and they like to pull pranks during the middle of the night on teachers. Not to mention the bears, birds and other creatures rummaging through the forest by our campsite. I don't want you to be scared all alone out there in the woods by yourself that's all. So if you get scared or lonely just text me and I'll come stay with you."

Sheldon puffs out his chest and sits up straight trying to appear as formidable as possible.

Sheldon: "Amy, while I appreciate your concern for my well being it is not necessary. I have packed my emergency survival bag so I'm sure I can handle anything out there from wild beasts to hippies. I'll be fine."

He smugly smiles at her and even pats her hand gently to reassure Amy that he will be okay sleeping alone in his little cabin in the woods. But, when he turns to look out the window of the bus again a small hornet flies up to his window and starts pecking at it as if it's trying to get inside the bus. Sheldon freaks out immediately ducking his head down onto Amy's lap terrified of it.

Sheldon: "Make it go away Amy! Make it go away!" he says in a childish voice.

Amy does her best not to laugh at him for being such a baby. Instead she leans back and enjoys the feeling of Sheldon's head lying in her lap. Amy begins to sing a classic bus song to take his mind off the insect by the window. She softly strokes his head with her hand to calm his nerves until the driver starts the bus. Too afraid to check out the window for himself Sheldon keeps his head down in her lap as he listens to her soothing voice until it lulls him to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: The Campfire Catalyst **

Amy: "Hey Cuddles, we're here."

After stopping for lunch an hour ago Sheldon took another nap on the bus. Sheldon yawns as he lifts his head up. He is a little surprised to see that he is still all cuddled up in Amy's arms. Amy smiles at him as he turns to look out the window at the huge trees surrounding them. The bus stops in a large parking lot outside the camping grounds. Several other buses full of students are lined up in a row next to theirs.

Sheldon can feel the hairs on the back of his neck sticking up in fear of what awaits him. He knows that in just a few more minutes hundreds of wild teenagers will be filing out of those buses ready to give their new science teachers hell for this four day weekend excursion.

Sheldon: "So the nightmare begins."

Amy gently pats Sheldon's arm as she looks out the window too.

Amy: "It's going to be okay. I'm sure they won't seem so intimidating once we get to know them a little."

She is not sure exactly what to expect when they get off the bus and break off into smaller groups with the students, but Amy loves the idea of getting to share her love for biology with them.

Amy looks back towards Dr. Feynman hoping she'll be able to give them some instruction on how to proceed next.

Pamela smiles at her as she stands up and walks to the front of the bus to face the entire teaching team. The other professors and researchers stare at her with tired, anxious eyes.

Pamela: "Welcome to Yosemite National Park, everyone. Now as you can see over to your left is the main lodge where we will be heading first to register then obtain our cabin assignments. The teachers' cabins are located to your far left and the students cabins are along the middle here and to your right. I can't tell you how much it means to me that such amazing intellectuals and educators are taking the time to show these kids how science works out in nature. I know this may seem like a daunting task ahead for all of us, but never fear because well frankly these kids can smell fear."

Pamela laughs at her own joke hoping the team will too, but the other teachers don't find it funny at all.

Sheldon looks out the window towards the freshmen students already getting off two buses nearby. He is surprised at how big they are for being only freshmen in high school. Most of these students come from schools in Compton, Carson, Inglewood and East Los Angeles. Sheldon imagines them all as a large formidable group of Romulans preparing to attack the Starship Enterprise. He shivers and reprimands himself internally for not packing his Klingon bat'leth for this trip.

The students stand around looking both anxious and bored. Many of them still have headphones in the ears and their hoodies up. A few kids notice Sheldon staring at them through the window so they give him "what are you looking at" glares. He turns his attention back to Pamela too nervous to stare at them anymore. She finishes her speech and the teachers file off the large bus to collect their baggage.

Barry passes by Sheldon and Amy's seat and smirks at him with glee.

Kripke: "Don't wor-w-ry Coo-w-per, I'm packing pep-w-per spr-w-ay. Any of these th-w-ugs try to sha-w-nk us and I've got it cov-w-ered!"

He pats a small chest pocket on his jacket indicating that's where the pepper spray is hidden. Sheldon and Amy both stare at him with worried expressions. Kripke quickly heads off the bus to help carry Pamela's bags hoping that will win her affection and perhaps get her to sleep with him later. As soon as everyone is off the bus Sheldon turns to whisper at Amy.

Sheldon: "Amy, I've change my mind. I don't want to be alone while we're here. This is definitely not a safe place. Come stay in my cabin. I'll need some back-up so there is chance of surviving this weekend."

Amy stares at him trying her best not to hyperventilate with excitement.

Amy: "Uh…really? Are you sure, Sheldon?"

Sheldon nods "yes" at her so Amy throws her arms around his neck to hug him. Sheldon pulls her off his neck and frowns in frustration.

Sheldon: "Amy please stop, this is serious. We are at war here. Showing affection in the face of the enemy is a sure sign of weakness. These kids are going to attack us in our beds tonight if we don't come up with a good strategy."

She grins at him in anticipation.

Amy: "I've got one. Tonight at the campfire I'll tell them one of my favorite murder mystery stories. They had a whole bunch of them on the PBS special last week. It's sure to frighten our kids enough so they will not want to leave their cabins at all once it gets dark. And if that doesn't work I can whip up a quick sleeping aid with my chemistry set and put it in their hot cocoa."

Sheldon: "Okay well that's a start. I guess I can also tell them about how my daddy taught me to shoot. They won't prank us once they realize I'm packing a gun."

Amy frowns at him when he mentions having a gun. She follows him off the bus as they collect their luggage from the back. She whispers to Sheldon.

Amy: "Wait, you didn't really bring a gun on this trip did you?"

Sheldon gets out his large rolling bag and opens it up.

Sheldon: "Actually, I've got something much better."

He pulls out his batman utility belt complete with a pair of batman night vision goggles, hand grenades, baton, flying ninja stars shaped like bats and a can filled with tear gas.

Amy shakes her head in disbelief that he actually brought this belt with him.

The teachers and students all head inside to the main lodge to register. During registration, Amy softly smiles at the national park service worker that hands her, a set of keys to their cabin for the weekend. Sheldon keeps his eyes on the kids and freaks them out a little because he is wearing the batman goggles already. For the most part these students are pretty typical normal kids, but Sheldon definitely does not see them that way. They all think he must be the insane one to be wearing something so big and dorky looking on his face.

Sheldon: "Okay you hoodlums, listen up! I don't want any crimes committed on my watch so here is the deal. Lights out at 10pm no exceptions. No leaving the cabins without a chaperone except for emergency bowel removal. Here each of you take one of these vacuum sealable urination bags."

He hands the ten students in his assigned group one bag and they all hold it like it's the most disgusting weird item they've ever been given. One student named Donovan Anderson speaks up for the rest.

Donovan: "Hey mister, why do we need these?"

Sheldon scoffs at that question like it's the stupidest question he's ever heard someone ask him as he rolls his eyes at the boy.

Sheldon: "Well for urinating of course. If any of you have to void your bladders during the night this is what you'll be using. They are the same ones NASA uses on their space flights whenever the zero gravity waste disposal system that my friend Howard Wolowitz engineered breaks down which let me tell you is quite often."

Donovan chuckles in disbelief.

Donovan: "Wait. You're kidding us right?"

Sheldon frowns at the freshman boy already prepared to label him a troublemaker on his clipboard.

Sheldon: "Young Romulan, I never kid about bladder voiding and if I did you would know because I would have used the word Bazinga. This is not a laughing matter now get back in formation!"

Donovan nervously moves back in line with the other teens in his small group. He already thinks that Dr. Sheldon Cooper is totally nuts and this trip is going to be even weirder than any of them thought. Sheldon continues writing little notes to himself on his clipboard about each of the students in line just based on their appearances.

A female student in the group named Margarita Jones looks at Amy in slight desperation.

Margarita: "Miss Fowler, can I speak with you privately for a moment?"

Sheldon: "Its MAY, I speak with you."

Sheldon looks at the girl warily than he glances at Amy worried this girl might try to shank her. But, Amy gives him a nod that she'll be fine. She steps over to the side with the young girl to hear her out.

Amy: "Yes, what's the problem?"

Margarita talks very softly so none of the boys in line can hear her. She shuffles her feet nervously and slightly embarrassed by what she has to talk about.

Margarita: "I uh… started my period on the bus earlier and um… I didn't bring uh anything with me. Most of the other girls don't have periods yet so they didn't bring any either."

Amy smiles at her and pulls some maxi pads out of her purse.

Amy: "Lucky for you I was a boy scout so I always come prepared."

Margarita stares at her very confused by that statement, but she is glad that Miss Fowler has some pads for her. She takes them quickly and hides them in her backpack.

Margarita: "Thanks."

Amy: "No problem, and if you or any of the other girls need some more let me know. There is a drug store in the main lodge down hallway C on the left so I can give you money to buy as many as you need. Also, tomorrow afternoon after my biology lecture I can show you how to make your own menstrual schedule."

Margarita smiles and nods at her then she quietly gets back in line with the others. Sheldon waits for her to get back in line before continuing on.

Sheldon: "Okay, now before we head out to the campsite for dinner there are a few more rules we need to go over before we can eat."

Sheldon pulls out a twenty page rule book that he has written up and all the kids gasp and moan in horror when they see it.

Sheldon: "Now before anyone asks yes there will be quiz after I'm done explaining all the rules, so make sure to take notes and pay attention."

About an hour and a half later the ten kids in his group finally get to eat their dinner around the campfire. All the other groups are almost completely finished eating theirs and some have started making themselves s'mores for dessert.

Sheldon frowns when he sees this and makes them stop what they are doing. He tries to explain that they are not positioning the marshmallows properly on their wooden straws to evenly cook them through, but another teacher from the chemistry department tells him to leave the kids alone.

Amy carries a cooler and a tray of food to a table.

Amy: "Sheldon, come sit down by me."

Sheldon grabs his dinner plate, napkins and a tray then carries his own tray over to the picnic table where Amy is sitting.

Sheldon: "Did you bring the low sodium soy sauce?"

Amy pulls it out of a cooler under the picnic table as she nods.

Amy: "Yes."

Sheldon: "What about the spicy mustard?"

Amy: "Yes"

She puts the spicy mustard on the table and smiles at him.

Sheldon: "Brown rice not white?"

Amy: "Yes, Sheldon."

She puts a large zip lock bag full of brown rice on the table for Sheldon.

He looks down at his plain cooked hamburger on a bun along with a hot dog in a bun and salad that is on his plate. Then he looks back at her.

Sheldon: "You do realize this is not even Thai food, we're eating right?"

Amy: "Yes."

Sheldon smiles at her. He is glad to know that Amy still does what she is supposed to according to their relationship agreement whenever Leonard is not around even though they are not eating the specific type of food that he usually eats on this night.

Amy: "Sheldon, now that we will be sharing a room together I think you should know something about my sleeping habits."

Sheldon takes a bite of his hamburger, shallows it then wipes his mouth with his face napkin. He stares at her then picks up his hamburger again ready to take another bite.

Sheldon: "Go on?"

Amy: "Well sometimes I have night terrors. They've been happening on and off since I was a child. I told Penny about them when I shared a room with her and now it's your turn. So the protocol if I have a night terror is to not panic just crawl into my bed, get on top of me, stroke my hair and I should be just fine."

Sheldon spits out the hamburger in his mouth in shock and it flies across the room and hits the chemistry teacher in the back of the head.

Dr. Ramada turns and glares at Sheldon assuming he did it on purpose because he yelled at him about the kids. Sheldon sheepishly blushes as he tries to look away from him and concentrate on Amy instead.

Sheldon: "You really expect me to do that?"

Amy: "It's okay Sheldon. I promise I won't bite you."

Then she winks at him.

Amy: "Unless you want me to."

She softly growls at him like a tiger then Amy stands up to empty the trash on her tray. She coyly smiles as she walks off and leaves Sheldon there freaking out about what he might have to do for her later.

After everyone has finished eating the team gathers together their separate groups of students to sit by the multiple large stone campfires in the middle of the campsite.

Each of the students in Sheldon and Amy's group immediately turn on their cell-phones, I-pods and Game boys ready to entertain themselves, but Amy tells them to put it all away.

All ten kids start to protest at once, but Sheldon glares at them as he puts his hands on the utility belt still around his waist.

Sheldon: "Hey! Don't make me pull out the tear gas."

The kids all grumble under their breath and frown at him as they put their electronic devices in their pockets.

Amy: "This is a chance for us to all get to know one another better, so let's first go around in a circle and introduce ourselves. Then I will tell you all a wonderful story about my time hitchhiking through Norway with nothing but a Swiss Army knife and this dang pelvis."

She points at her pelvis and grins. The kids glance at each other all in horror expecting this to be incredibly lame story that she is going to tell them. But, Sheldon tells her to continue as he sits down on his folding chair.

Amy: "As you know I am Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, leading neurobiologist at UCLA and my hobbies include playing the harp, archery and collecting the hair of my best friend Penny.

The students look at her like she is just as crazy as Sheldon, but she smiles confidently about this as she turns to Sheldon expecting him to introduce more about himself next.

Sheldon: "Well as you know my name is Dr. Sheldon Cooper, leading theoretical physicist at Cal-Tech University and one day I am going to win a Nobel Prize so if anyone wants my autograph now before the prices go up please make sure to address your letters to me in proper Block format."

Several of the students roll their eyes while others raise their hands to ask to go to the bathroom hoping to escape this awful fireside chat.

Amy ignores their raised hands and continues the conversation by describing how the two of them met. Sheldon glances at her through the firelight and notices that her whole face lights up beautifully whenever she is talking about their first meeting.

The more Amy talks about him and their time together the more relaxed he feels. After several more minutes of listening he starts to feel strangely warm as he looks at her. His palms become moist and his legs start to tingle a bit.

Sheldon looks down at his waist and notices his pants are starting to rise up into a tent-like structure. He quickly places his jacket over his pants as he stands up and starts walking away from the campfire. Amy frowns when she sees he is leaving her.

Amy: "Sheldon, wait where are you going?"

Sheldon: "Uh, I'm not feeling well. I think I need to go lie down. You stay here with the kids, I'll be fine."

Sheldon hurries off towards the cabins as fast as he can hoping no one notices his erection. He can't believe this is happening to him now. He thinks to himself it must be all the heat from the campfire and all this stupid fresh air causing his body to react this way.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: The Shower Situation **

Sheldon pulls out the key to his cabin and runs inside. He immediately starts stripping off all his sweaty clothes then grabs his towel, robe and his Thursday night pajamas to head for the showers. He knows a nice cold shower will alleviate his current problem before it gets any worse.

He hates the fact that they do not have showers or toilets inside the small cabins, but instead the campsite has four large communal bathrooms located on the outskirts of the camp. Sheldon puts on his long plaid robe, shower slides and shower cap. Then right before heading out the door he attaches his cabin key to his utility belt and carries it all with him to the showers along with a large toiletry bag full of all his favorite antibacterial cleansers, acne creams and hemorrhoid lotions.

Sheldon is disturbed to discover there is a long line of students waiting to use the bathrooms when he arrives. He walks past all of them and cuts to the front of the line.

Several of the kids glare at him and pout about it not being fair to one another when he does this, but he ignores their complaints. A couple of teenager boys in line hatch a plan to steal Dr. Cooper's stuff once he gets inside of the shower.

Dr. Carl Ramada comes out of the middle shower stall with a big beach towel wrapped around his waist. He heads towards the bathroom mirror to brush his teeth and shave his face before bed. Sheldon walks up to the middle shower and immediately starts to freak out again.

Sheldon: "Dr. Ramada, look at what you left on the shower floor. That is disgusting!"

Dr. Ramada turns around and sighs already annoyed with Dr. Cooper.

Carl: "What it is now Dr. Cooper?"

Sheldon points and wiggles his finger at a band aid on the floor of the shower.

Sheldon: "Remove it immediately! It's infecting the entire stall."

Carl: "Oh give me a break it's just a band aid."

Sheldon: "I will not. It's a health hazard remove it!"

Carl rolls his eyes as he walks back over to the stall to pick it up and throw the band aid in the trashcan. Sheldon flinches nervously and moves away from Carl as he goes to throw it away.

Carl: "There it's gone satisfied now?"

Sheldon looks at him with an unimpressed expression.

Sheldon: "I'm not unsatisfied."

Carl rolls his eyes again, grabs his clothes and exits the bathroom not wanting to spend anymore time with Dr. Cooper than he absolutely has to. The male students in the bathroom also quickly walk out and leave Sheldon in there alone when he starts crazily spraying disinfectant all over the bathroom.

Sheldon is glad they are all gone for now so none of them will see his erection. After spraying down the counter he puts his can of disinfectant back in his toiletry bag and his pajamas on top of the bag. He hangs his batman utility belt on a hook outside of the stall. Once he is inside of the shower with all of his favorite cleansing products he removes his robe and places it on the hook over the belt.

As soon as he turns on the shower he starts humming a tune from Fiddler on the Roof to himself to calm his nerves. Three sophomore boys tip toe into the bathroom and take his robe, belt, pajamas and bag. They decide to leave him his towel, but they pull the wet, disgusting band aid out of the trashcan and leave it on top of his towel. Then they exit the bathroom and join the other kids laughing in delight at their prank.

While Sheldon takes a shower Amy tells the kids her creepy Norwegian serial killer tale, but she hurries through it worried that Sheldon has fallen ill. Pamela Feynman walks by to check on the groups and make sure everyone is having a good time.

Pamela: "Hey, so how is it going guys?"

Donovan: "Can we please ….PLEASE ….go to bed!"

The kids have had enough and would rather go to the cabins early than listen to more of Amy's crazy story about traveling with a serial killer. They are more disturbed by the fact that most of the other groups seem to be having a lot more fun playing games and listening to music.

Even Barry Kripke's group keeps laughing at his Elmer Fudd impersonation as though it's a comedy skit because the students don't realize this is just how he talks. He assumes they just think he's a funny guy which makes him happy for a change so he keeps the pepper spray in his pocket.

Pamela can tell the kids in Amy's group are not happy at all.

Pamela: "Maybe you should wrap things up a little early."

Amy: "Okay. Well to make a long story short, the doctors were able to reattach his penis, but not his right testicle. He never went hitchhiking again and sadly, I never got my knife back once it was taken for evidence."

The kids all make disgusted disturbed faces at her then look at Pamela with begging eyes hoping she'll let them go to bed now.

Pamela sighs then nods at them.

Pamela: "Okay it's been a long day already you can all hit the showers then I want you to go straight back to your cabins no dawdling."

The kids nod in agreement than grab their belongings quickly so they can leave the campfire site.

Amy stands up then folds up her chair and Sheldon's chair.

Amy: "Yes, well I probably should go check on Sheldon now. He told me he's not feeling well. I think all the fresh air and travel has made him constipated. I always get constipated when I travel long distances."

Pamela: "Really? Well I hope he'll be okay."

Amy: "Don't worry; I have brought plenty of enemas with me for just such an occasion."

Pamela makes a creeped out face at her not sure how to even respond to such unpleasant information.

Pamela: "So does this mean you will be sharing a cabin with Sheldon?"

Amy nods "yes" and coyly smiles at Pamela.

Amy: "This is our first time sharing a room together. I wish my bestie were here she'd know exactly what to do in the bedroom. But, I'm not sure Sheldon wants to well you know."

Pamela: "Oh...so you and he have never….?

Amy sadly nods at her as the two of them walk together and talk.

Amy: "He's my very first boyfriend and I'm his first girlfriend so we've been taking things slow. Actually, to be honest he's been taking things slow and I've been desperately trying to speed him up. But so far not much has worked."

Pamela: "Hmmmm… well have you tried giving him some Viagra?"

Amy shakes her head indicating that is not his problem.

Amy: "No, that's not it. Sheldon just doesn't like a lot of physical contact. He is afraid of germs and well almost everything else. Even though I've shown him all my medical records and have received twelve different vaccinations since we've been together he still won't even kiss me. I want him to, but I don't want to scare him off."

Pamela: "Well how about if you try taking a shower together? He shouldn't be afraid of any germs if he has lots of antibacterial soap available. You can wash each other and get everything clean beforehand.

Amy: "Hey that's not a bad idea. He might go for that."

Pamela looks around to make sure no one is nearby them then she continues.

Pamela: "Okay I'm not really supposed to tell anybody else about this, but in the main lodge upstairs there is an executive washroom. In it is a shower with multiple showerheads and jets, even a Jacuzzi bathtub. The last time I stayed at the camp I hooked up with an international tour guide who use to work here and he gave me the key. We broke up shortly after, but I made a copy of it."

She giggles as she pulls the key out of a small pocket on her vest and holds it up in between her fingers. The fading sunset makes the shiny metal key twinkle and Amy stares at it in awe. She can feel her uterus quivering already in anticipation.

Amy: "Oh gosh, thank you Pamela."

Pamela grins happy she could help and hands Amy the key.

Pamela: "No problem, just make sure you don't get caught up there otherwise we could all get into a lot of trouble maybe even thrown out of the camp. Also, only use it after hours so the staff won't catch you."

Amy nods in agreement as she discreetly tucks the key away. Then they continue walking towards Pamela's cabin.

Amy: "Don't worry; I can be pretty stealthy when necessary."

Pamela: "Good. Also, tomorrow night after lights out, Kripke is organizing a little karaoke party for the teachers. So you and Sheldon are welcome to join us."

Amy: "Thanks, that is actually good timing because tomorrow night is our usual boyfriend slash girlfriend sing-along night."

Pamela: "I think Barry is just using the party as an excuse to serenade me and getting me drunk."

She giggles a bit as she bends down to tie her undone shoelace.

Pamela: "But, it should be fun unwinding a little. He's a lot smarter than most of guys I usually end up with so we'll see."

Amy: "I think you and Barry would make a great couple. I should go see about Sheldon before it gets too dark."

Pamela nods at her as she pulls out her cabin key.

Amy: "Goodnight, uh…Pami."

Pamela smiles glad to know Amy finally feels comfortable enough around her now to use her preferred nickname.

Pamela: "Goodnight Amy. Let me know how it goes."

She smiles one last time as she walks into her cabin glad to have one all to herself now that Amy will be staying with Sheldon.

Amy quickly walks back to cabin 73 excited to tell Sheldon about the executive washroom.

Sheldon finishes rinsing himself off then he opens the bathroom stall just enough to fit his hand through to reach for his robe. He frowns when he can't feel it hanging on the hook outside the stall door. Sheldon peeks out to check and realizes no one else is inside the bathroom so he opens the stall completely. His faces starts to twitch when he realizes his robe, pajamas and bag are missing.

Sheldon: "OKAY THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" He shouts out loudly expecting someone to hear him and coming inside with his things, but no one comes.

He sees his towel with the band aid on top and starts to gag in disgust. Sheldon runs over to the sink ready to throw up inside it, but instead manages to drink some water from the faucet to keep his vomit down. He is still soaking wet and totally bare ass naked so he knows this is really bad situation.

Sheldon reluctantly grabs a paper towel from the dispenser and cautiously uses it to remove Dr. Ramada's old band aid from his towel. He tosses it away in fear then picks up his towel to dry off. He only uses the opposite side of the towel terrified to touch the other side of it.

He peeks outside the bathroom door and it is almost totally dark.

Sheldon: "Hello? Is anyone out there! I need my things back!"

The sun is almost down and night approaches. All the kids that were standing in line before have gone away to use the other bathroom at the opposite end of the campsite. Sheldon is terrified of walking naked alone through the woods back to his cabin with no clothes or shoes, plus those little monsters stole his key so he considers spending the night in the bathroom alone.

Fortunately, a father and son who are camping with their family nearby the campsite start walking towards the bathroom. Sheldon runs back into the stall to hide from them as they enter the bathroom to take their own showers.

Once they are inside the bathroom he tries to whisper to them for help.

Sheldon: "Pssssssst…psssst."

The father turns around and sees Sheldon's feet inside the stall. He smiles and says "Oh why hello there!"

Sheldon waves his hand at him beckoning him to come closer and he naively does.

Sheldon: "My name is Dr. Sheldon Cooper, leading theoretical physicist at Cal-Tech and I'm currently in a quandary."

The son looks up at his father and father looks back at his son. They are both confused by Sheldon's introduction from within a shower stall in the men's bathroom, but the father is a very polite southern man so he responds back.

"Well I'm Joe; this here is my boy Joe junior."

Sheldon can immediately tell by the father's accent that they must be from Texas or somewhere in the south, which gives him a little bit more hope. Sheldon starts to talk to them using his Texas accent hoping that will help them to understand him better.

Sheldon: "Hello, Joe. I don't mean to alarm ya'll, but varmints have absconded with my belongings so I could use some assistance."

Joe: "Mister, you saying ya ain't got nothin' to put on?"

Sheldon: "Yes. Only I said it using the actual English language."

Joe and his son both start to laugh at him realizing now that this must be some kind of prank. Joe kindly hands Sheldon his own bathrobe over the stall door to use.

Joe. "Here ya go, take mine mister."

Sheldon: "Oh thank you. But, I really shouldn't."

Joe frowns in confusion.

Joe: "What's wrong it ain't dirty or nothin'?"

Sheldon hates the thought of wearing another man's robe, but he realizes he doesn't have any other options so he decides to suck it up and put the robe on just so he can get back to his cabin. He comes out of the stall wearing the robe and tries his best not to think about all the germs that may be on it.

Joe: "So where you staying mister?"

Sheldon: "In cabin 73. It's not far, but I don't want to walk in the dirt and those brats stole my key."

Joe: "Oh a little dirt never hurt anybody; why back home we go barefoot all the time."

Sheldon: "Yes, I'm sure you do. But, see I really don't want to die tonight."

Joe Jr. laughs again at how spineless Sheldon seems. Then the boy heads into another shower stall to take his own shower.

Joe: "Well my wife should be along any minute, she has a pair of bunny slippers you can borrow."

Sheldon wants to protest about this as well, but before he can Joe opens the bathroom door and yells out loudly for his wife.

His daughter and wife are in the ladies room right next door and they hear him calling.

Joe goes outside to talk with his wife then returns with a pair of pink and white fuzzy bunny slippers.

Sheldon blushes in embarrassment as the ladies wave at him and giggle. He takes the slippers and puts them on his feet.

Sheldon: "I'll return everything just as soon as I can. My girlfriend should be back at the cabin by now so she'll open the door for me."

Joe smiles and nods at Sheldon then he starts to remove his own clothes so he can take his shower.

Joe: "It ain't no trouble mister. I can send my boy to fetch'em from ya tomorrow."

Sheldon tries to smile then nods at Joe one last time as he quickly rushes out the door and hurries to his cabin. He officially declares this the worst trip ever, but at least he is glad to see his erection is totally gone now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: The Experiment Addendum.**

Sheldon knocks on the door to his cabin in his usual pattern.

"Amy"

He knocks again.

"Amy"

He knocks once more.

"Amy"

Amy opens the door for him and stares in confusion as he enters.

Amy: "Sheldon, what is going on? Where are your clothes! I thought you said were coming back here to lie down."

She stares at his strange attire and frowns at him.

Sheldon quickly enters the room totally embarrassed and shivering from the cold night air.

Sheldon: "I was taking a shower and those little monsters stole all my clothes and my pajamas and my batman utility belt! I had to borrow these from a man and his wife."

Sheldon runs over to the closet to pull out his emergency robe and to put some warm socks on so he can get out of these silly looking slippers. He closes the closet door so he can remove Joe's robe and put on his own without Amy seeing him naked.

Amy stares at the door sadly and looks down at the key in her hand.

Amy: "Oh well I thought the two of us could go take a shower together."

Sheldon: "I definitely need another shower. But, I'm not going back in there ever again. These kids are devils I never should have agreed to come on this trip."

Amy: "But, I know a place where we can both shower in peace where no students will be able to bother us or steal your stuff."

Sheldon comes out of the closet and looks at Amy curiously then down at the key in her hand.

Amy: "Dr. Feynman gave it to me. It's for the executive washroom in the main lodge. We can use it for the whole weekend."

Sheldon grins at Amy finally and takes the key from her.

Sheldon: "Excellent, I'll go first."

He puts the key in his robe pocket and starts pulling out more shower supplies to take with him.

Amy frowns as he does this and moves in front of him.

Amy: "Wait just a minute, Sheldon it's not just for you. I want us to use it together."

Sheldon: "Well if you want I guess you can come with me and watch my stuff so no one takes it this time. But, you have to wait outside."

She shakes her head at him.

Amy: "No. Not this time. Sheldon, we've been in this relationship for almost a year now. I think its time we do something special."

He frowns at her, but decides to at least hear her out.

Sheldon: "Okay, fine. I'll open up the floor for new business. Go ahead, but make it quick."

Sheldon sits down on his new bed to listen. Amy takes a deep breath then she sits down next to him.

Amy: "I think its time that the two of us consider engaging in sexual intercourse."

Sheldon immediately stands up and waves his hands in an X shape.

Sheldon: "Whoa…whoa…where is this coming from?"

Amy: "Sheldon, it's not that unheard of for couples to have sex. If you aren't ready for it then we need to at least discuss what we are ready for."

Sheldon: "All I'm ready for right now is a shower! I must get Joe's germs off of me before they start to incubate."

Amy: "Then let me help you. I will wash your back and you can wash mine. That's a start right."

She smiles at him hoping he'll finally agree to do this.

Sheldon: "No, it's a sin! I mean… well."

He pauses when he realizes he sounds more like his mother right now. He tries to rephrase his statement.

Sheldon: "I mean its just Amy you know I'm not comfortable with that sort of stuff. We agreed to share a room together on this trip not have sex."

Amy: "Then don't think of it as sexual. Think of it as an experiment."

Sheldon stares at her warily, confused but slightly intrigued by the idea of a scientific experiment.

Sheldon: "An experiment? What kind?"

Amy: "We could try to determine at what rate water molecules post condensate when being expunged off the epidermis surface at a high temperature."

Sheldon: "I guess, but wouldn't we need some kind of cooling agent?"

Amy: "I've packed mini-fans in my bag."

Sheldon thinks about it for a minute. He pulls out a copy of their relationship agreement.

Sheldon: "I will only agree to do this experiment with you on a one time only basis if you will agree to wear a bathing suit and to sign an addendum to the agreement."

Amy frowns a little, but sits down on her own bed to hear him out.

Amy: "Alright, I'm listening counselor you may approach the bench."

Sheldon smiles at her as he explains his new proposal.

Sheldon: "I want to change our boyfriend-slash-girlfriend sing along night to Star Trek-slash-Star Wars night."

Amy stands up and makes a similar X motion with her arms that Sheldon made earlier.

Amy: "Absolutely not! Sheldon, you know how much I love our sing along nights."

Sheldon: "Yeah and I love Star Trek more so that's my offer."

Amy sighs in frustration with him.

Amy: "That is not fair at all. You want me to give up a weekly event for a one time event. If I agree to this change then you have to agree that showering with me will also become a weekly event."

Sheldon frowns at that and tries to come up with a counter offer to this new proposal.

Sheldon: "Okay, how about this. If you agree to give me Star Trek night, I'll agree to give you a scientific experiment night."

Amy: "Wait. You mean I can propose any experiment I want and you'll do it?"

Sheldon: "Granted that they do not involve anything forbidden under section 9 of the agreement and are scientific in nature then yes I will let you experiment on me however you wish."

Amy suddenly smiles the most salacious smile Sheldon has ever seen on her face, but he doesn't fully realize what this means to her. She realizes this will make Sheldon her eternal test subject and the thought of it makes her extremely horny.

Amy: "Very well. Give me a pen and I'll sign."

Sheldon gets out a pen, along with his notary book and stamp. He begins writing out the terms while Amy pulls out her bathing suit and her own toiletry bag to take to the shower.

Amy's cell phone starts to ring so she picks it up and answers it. She grins in absolute delight when she realizes whose calling her.

Penny: "Hey Amy it's me."

Amy squeals in excitement to hear her voice.

Amy: "Hi, bestie I'm so glad you called. You have the best timing."

Penny: "Yeah, well how's the camping trip going? Has Sheldon been making you check his ears for ladybugs a thousand times already? "

Amy: "Just a second Penny. Sheldon, I'm just going to step outside for a moment. You finish writing the addendum."

Sheldon nods without even looking up from his paperwork as Amy discreetly slips outside to talk to Penny.

Amy: "Penny, I am on cloud nine! Sheldon has finally agreed to change our roommate agreement."

Penny: "Oh what is it this time? Is he buying you another tiara or something?

Amy: "No, even better! He's going to be my science experiment and I get to take a shower with him."

Penny: "Oh my god! Seriously!"

Penny pulls the phone away from her ear to tell Leonard this news.

Penny: "Leonard, you're not going to believe this Amy says Sheldon is going to let them shower together."

Leonard immediately spits out his water in shock.

Leonard: "Shut Up! Seriously? Wait a sec, maybe this is more of their gossip experiment."

Amy can hear Leonard through the phone and responds to his disbelief.

Amy: "No, this is real deal I swear! He's writing it up as we speak."

Penny: "Wow, okay well that's great sweetie."

Penny nods yes and gives the big thumbs up to Leonard letting him know it's no joke this time and that she is in just as much shock and amazement as he is over this development.

Leonard pulls out his phone from his back pocket to text this news to Howard and Raj.

Leonard: "They are not going to believe this. Our little Shelly is finally becoming a man."

Penny smiles in agreement as if she is Sheldon's mother and Leonard is his father and they are proud their little baby is growing up. Then she puts the phone back up to ear to find out more from Amy.

Penny: "Wait, so does this mean you two are finally going to go all the way?"

She folds her legs up onto the couch and smiles delighted to be sitting in Sheldon's spot because he is not there to stop her.

Amy: "Well not yet. But, I'm sure I can come up with a way to turn coitus into a scientific experiment that he will actually participate in later. First, I need to make sure he enjoys our shower. All new additions to the relationship agreement have a thirty day trial period and during any point during that time if either party does not like the new change it can be removed as long as it's done so in writing. So I've got to make sure he doesn't back out on me."

Penny: "I have this little move that works on Leonard that you can try, but it depends on how flexible you are? I call it the Penny Pretzel."

Amy grins ready to hear all about it.

Amy: "Oh I can bend my body like a Beckham! Go ahead spill it bestie."

Penny gets off the couch and walks out into hallway so Leonard will not hear what she is going to tell Amy about their sex life. He just keeps texting back and forth with Raj and Howard about Sheldon getting laid. Penny whispers out in the hall how to do the Penny Pretzel and Amy nods happily as she listens carefully.

Amy: "Yeah okay, but should I use one hand for that or two?"

Penny: "Oh definitely two. The poor boy won't know what hit him. Just make sure to avoid his Nethra Yayeh."

Amy giggles at that and thanks Penny for all her help. Then she hangs up the phone and goes back inside the cabin.

Sheldon is finished writing so he makes her read over his new addendum then he hands her a pen to sign the document.

Amy: "Sheldon, I want you to know that it really means a lot to me that you're willing to try this. I promise I'll make it worth your while and this will be a trip you'll never forget."

He rolls his eyes at that as she takes the pen from him.

Sheldon: "Amy, of course I won't forget it I have an eidetic memory. Just make sure you purchase the official Lieutenant Uhura uniform, Princess Leia costume and the flight suit with accessories none of those cheap imitations."

Amy nods at him as she signs her name on the dotted line. Then she stands up and heads for the closet to put on her bathing suit while Sheldon notarizes it.

**Author's Note**: **I've just started writing the shower scene now and I want it to be just right so I'm going to take my time with it. I hope ya'll enjoy these two chapters and please leave your feedback or any comments. Thanks so much for reading. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Shower Synergy **

Sheldon and Amy go up the back stairwell of the main lodge and enter the building on the second floor. Sheldon easily disarms the security system while Amy makes sure to check around each corner in the hallway as they make their way towards the executive washroom.

Sheldon: "Amy, are you sure we're headed in the right direction? Most executive washrooms are located on the west side of the building. It's a popular architectural design feature modeled after the west wing of the White House."

Amy: "Yes, now shhh."

She sees a janitor empting the trash up ahead. Amy motions to Sheldon to follow her as they sneak past him down another hallway. A few minutes later when the janitor is gone they head towards the executive offices and reach the end of the hall where the executive washroom is located.

Amy grins with excitement as she pulls out the key to open it. She lets Sheldon walk in first then she locks the door so know one can accidently walk in on them while they are in the shower.

Sheldon inspects the room to make sure it's clean enough. He can tell the janitor has already been in to mop the floor because it has a strong ammonium smell which he likes. But, Sheldon still wishes he had his can of disinfectant with him just to do an extra sweep of the place. He settles for wiping the counter and shower handles down with paper towels instead. Then Sheldon begins to brush his teeth carefully by the sink. The sight of Sheldon using his electric toothbrush makes Amy even more excited and she begins to feel wet down below. She licks her lips and watches him as if she were watching a porno. He has no idea what is going through her mind now and if he did Sheldon would not be able to handle it she thinks to herself. But, Amy decides in this moment that some day she will have to introduce him to Gerard.

Amy takes off her robe to reveal her old fashioned bathing suit to him. The red, white and black suit looks like one from the 1930s with ruffled bloomers, thick straps and hideous large horizontal stripes across the top half. This bathing suit belonged to her dead grandmother once and is the only one Amy owns. She even puts on the matching bathing suit bonnet and ties it under her chin.

Amy: "So how do I look?"

Sheldon rinses his mouth out then he turns around to face her. He thinks the suit looks quaintly cute on her and reminds him of old black and white photographs of his meemaw when she was Amy's age.

Sheldon: "Well on the bright side it doesn't make you look that fat at all."

She smiles at him because she knows that for Sheldon that is the closest he can come to giving her an actual compliment about her looks. He finally removes his emergency robe to reveal his own equally old fashion looking bathing suit. He made the suit himself with his sewing machine a few years ago when he tried to learn how to swim on the floor of his apartment. It's a two piece red suit with a large golden lightening bolt down the middle of his swim t-shirt and matching long red and gold stripped bathing bloomers without the ruffles. It almost looks like a Flash superhero costume only even more ridiculous and over the top because his knees are showing.

Amy turns on the main shower head to let the water warm up then she looks at Sheldon and tries not to laugh. She thinks it's absolutely ridiculous that he wants them to shower together wearing bathing suits just so they will not see each other naked.

Amy: "How are you going to get clean wearing that huh? At least take off your shirt Sheldon."

Sheldon pauses to look at himself in the bathroom mirror. He likes the way he looks because he's been waiting for an opportunity to wear this suit without actually having to go swimming for a long time. But, he wants to get clean too so after a few more minutes of modeling in front of the mirror Sheldon reluctantly removes only the top half of his bathing suit. He folds it neatly and places it on the counter. Amy checks the water temperature to make sure it's warm enough then she motions to Sheldon to come check it out for himself.

Sheldon: "This shower is nice, but I'm not sure it's all that safe. There aren't any adhesive duck stickers?"

Amy rolls her eyes at that comment and tries to refocus his attention on science to take his mind off the lack of adhesive ducks.

Amy: "So for this first experiment would you like me to explain how the Bose-Einstein condensate principle works?"

Sheldon scoffs at that question and looks at her with a smug expression.

Sheldon: "I already know that. I've even written papers on it."

Amy: "Yes, but do you know how to calculate the transition temperature at the current density integration over the maximum number of excited particles?"

He scoffs at her again.

Sheldon: "That's not difficult to calculate at all. First, we must isolate the proper equation then…."

Amy interrupts him by taking his hand and pulling him into the shower while trying to be as seductive as possible by giving her the come hither look.

Amy: "Let's see if it's so easy for you to calculate the maximum number of particles while I'm washing your back."

She grabs her wash cloth and pulls him into the shower. Sheldon giggles loudly when the shower jets hit his ribs and tickle them.

Amy: "Now just try to relax Sheldon."

Sheldon rolls his eyes assuming that it will still be easy for him to concentrate on math even with her in the shower with him because he loves calculating things so much. He figures the odds of him getting an erection twice in the same day are very unlikely so he continues to isolate the equation for their experiment in his mind.

Amy closes the shower door and lets the hot water drench her hair. Steam from the shower begins to fill up the bathroom as Amy slowly dribbles antibacterial soap onto her washcloth and begins to rub Sheldon's back with it.

Sheldon desperately tries to continue his calculations until Amy starts to rub his shoulders with the cloth too. Suddenly, he puts his hands up against the shower wall to brace himself when his knees feel wobbly. Amy massages the muscles in his shoulders more firmly and he starts trying to hum Fiddler on the Roof to himself quietly to keep from moaning out loud.

Amy knows he's trying to resist the pleasure, so she decides to take things up a notch.

She grabs the bottom half of his suit yanking it down to the shower floor.

Sheldon gasps in horror when she does this and immediately cups his privates with his hands.

Sheldon: "Amy! Stop! What are you doing?"

Amy: "Come on Sheldon its just silly, we need to get fully clean. I'm taking mine off too."

Sheldon: "What? No! You can't do that! They call them BATHING SUITS for a reason Amy."

Amy doesn't listen to his whining she pulls the straps of her bathing suit down to reveal her chest area to Sheldon. He shuts his eyes instantly to embarrassed and nervous to look at her without anything on. Amy wiggles out of the suit and tosses it aside. She turns around so her back is facing him then she tosses the washcloth backwards onto his shoulder.

Amy: "Okay smarty-pants, now it's your turn to wash me."

Sheldon: "Amy, please! I should be concentrating on isolating the equation for the maximum particles for our experiment."

Amy: "Sheldon, we'll have plenty of time to calculate the results after we're done here. So come on you can go ahead."

Sheldon: "Ha! Easy for you to say! I can't even see anything."

Amy: "Then open your eyes."

Sheldon can't resist the temptation to take one quick peek at her backside then he closes his eyes again. He starts to hum an old sea shanty that his meemaw use to sing to him whenever she gave him a bath.

He removes the washcloth from his shoulder without looking and blindly moves his hand forward until he can feel Amy's back. He rubs the cloth against her skin softly and sings to keep himself as calm as possible while doing this for her praying his erection doesn't return.

Amy does her best not to laugh at his silly, cute song as Sheldon rubs the cloth against her back. After a few more minutes Amy even begins to hum along with him. She moves her long, wet hair off her back then leans down to grab the soap bottle. Sheldon reaches forward to scrub her back again, but accidently starts to fall forward when she bends over for the soap. He grabs on to her waist with both hands to stop from falling on her and opens his eyes in shock as he tries to steady himself.

Amy gasps in surprise when she feels Sheldon's hands wrap tightly around her. The moment his body touches hers she feels tingly all over. She stands back up quickly, but doesn't turn around to face him yet. Instead she grabs onto his hands with hers to keep them where they are because Amy doesn't want him to let go of her now…maybe not ever.

Sheldon: "Holy moly! Amy, are you okay?"

Amy: "Oh yes! It's okay. I mean I'm okay. Are you okay?"

Sheldon: "Uh…I'm not sure. I don't feel well."

He feels his erection growing again, Amy feels it too and she's very happy about it. She finally realizes what "not feeling well" really means and it makes her want Sheldon even more.

Amy: "Are you starting to feel like you did before?"

Sheldon closes his eyes again trying to think of something gross to make it go away.

Sheldon: "Yes I'm afraid I am."

Amy: "Do you want to stop then?"

Sheldon: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

Sheldon pauses awkwardly too scared to move his body away, but also too naturally excited to stop touching hers completely. Amy can tell her new experiment is working as she softly rocks her buttocks back and forth against him making all the blood in his body flow downward and away from his overanalyzing brain so that he can barely think straight. Sheldon's greatest defense against the outside world is now down. He feels extremely vulnerable and nervous, but strangely happy all of sudden without the use of his encephalon.

Sheldon: "Oh boy! I've never been touched like this before!"

Amy: "Me either, just go with it."

Sheldon: "You're a Vixen!"

Amy grins at his description of her as she continues to rock her backside gently against his erection making it grow to maximum capacity.

Amy: "I know!"

Without any warning Sheldon's hindbrain finally takes over his bodily functioning. He starts to moan loudly in pleasure. He keeps his eyes closed and gently licks his lips. His hips begin to rock slowly along with hers on their own. He feels as if they are dancing together all over again only he never thought dancing could be truly enjoyable until now. Hot water spills all over their bodies and they both forget all about their experiment as they given in to the intense desires building within.

Amy is thrilled Sheldon is finally starting to loosen up so she decides to take things to the next level. She grabs his right hand pulls it off her waist and pours liquid soap into his palm. Then she places his palm directly on her right breast. Sheldon feels his heartbeat race rapidly in his chest as his palm covers her breast. His member starts to twitch along with his face, but he doesn't dare open his eyes too afraid he might make a mess if he does. He has absolutely no idea what part of her anatomy he is touching though it does feel slightly familar to him. He licks his lips and suddenly feels the craving for warm milk.

Sheldon: "Oh God! What is that...What is that?"

Amy leans her wet head back against his shoulder and whispers into his ear.

Amy: "Sheldon, welcome to second base."

She puts her hand back down so he can take over. He squeezes her nipple and Amy moans into his ear enjoying every single femtosecond of his hand caressing her milky white flesh. Sheldon can hardly believe this is actually happening and he can only thing of one word to describe it.

Sheldon: "Fascinating!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Coitus Interrupt-us **

Amy loves the feeling of Sheldon's hand on her breast and she wants to return the pleasure. So she turns around to face Sheldon in the shower. His eyes are still closed and his eyebrows arch curiously as he wonders what will happen next. Amy pours body wash into her palm and places the bottle back on the tile floor.

She hears him breathing loudly and can see that his chest is flush, which she interprets as signs of sexual arousal. Amy reaches her hands out to wash his chest. She slowly trails her fingers down from his heart towards his belly button ready to put Penny's advice to good use. She forms her fingers into a pretzel like shape as she rubs the body wash into Sheldon's chest hair. Her hands move steadily downward inching closer and closer to his erection.

Amy: "Sheldon, how would you like to finish this experiment in the bedroom…I mean our cabin?

His ears and genital throb in excitement, but he can't handle it. None of this makes any sense to him. He has no idea how to respond to her question or how to deal with all the pleasurable sensations coursing through him.

Sheldon: "I….I…um…." He moans gently filled with yearning.

Sheldon can feel the pressure building in his loins and it completely unnerves him. He feels as though he is losing control so he quickly turns away from her. Sheldon turns off the hot water in the shower as he tries desperately to catch his breath.

Amy stares at him confused and not sure what to do next or what is it that she did wrong.

Amy: "What's the matter?"

He nervously shutters through panting breathes as he tries to speak to her.

Sheldon: "I …I need…I mean I can't think!"

Amy gently places her hand on Sheldon's shoulder to calm his nerves hoping he'll reconsider letting her continue their shower.

Amy: "I don't understand? I thought you liked this."

Sheldon shakes his head at her as he turns on the cold water on to cool himself off. His body feels hot which makes him panic and worry that he may be developing a fever. His stomach feels queasy which makes him fear that he's going to throw up. He doesn't want to get sick in front of her or get Amy sick either so he yells at her to leave.

Sheldon: "JUST GO! LEAVE!"

Amy is shocked by his sudden dismissal of her advances. She shivers from the sharp, cold water splashing on them and frowns with sadness at his back.

Amy: "Fine, if that's the way you feel about it. I'll leave."

She does her best to choke back tears as she exits the shower and grabs a towel off the counter. Amy can't even look at him anymore she is so embarrassed by his rejection. She has always wondered if any guy will ever find her attractive. Most of the men that she has met over the years have either made fun of her looks or ignored her completely. Sheldon was the first one to actually behave as though he liked her. The first man she's ever been completely in love with and now Amy thinks he doesn't really want her at all.

Amy dries off quickly then she puts on her warm long flannel robe and throws the towel down.

Amy: "Maybe I should go stay with Pamela tonight? She might actually enjoy my company! I know Gerard doesn't mind it!"

She says this with more resentment and fear in her voice than she would like to, but she can't help it. Amy is so confused and a little hurt by his reaction. It upsets her even more that Sheldon will not even turn around to look at her or open his eyes.

Sheldon: "Uh… I don't know."

It bothers Sheldon that he can't answer her question with his usual self assured attitude and mental acuity. He is not use to being turned on by anyone and he can't even think clearly enough to ask her who the hell Gerard is instead all he can do to keep from ejaculating is to stay under the freezing cold water.

Amy scoffs in total annoyance as she throws her cabin key on the counter then leaves the washroom without another word. She walks down the hallway to look for the ladies room so that she can call her best friend Penny and tell her what happened.

Back at the apartment Penny lies in bed next to Leonard. They finished having sex a half and hour ago then fell asleep in Leonard's bedroom. Penny's cell phone rings loudly playing "Imma Be" by the Black Eye Peas and Leonard hears the phone first. He grumpily groans with exhaustion and nudges Penny's arm to wake her up.

Leonard: "Penny."

Penny is snoring loudly when she is suddenly startled by him. She wakes up and smacks Leonard hard in the nose with her hand.

Leonard: "OW!"

She blinks her eyes in surprise as she sits up and turns on the bedside lamp so they can see.

Penny: "What? Uh oh I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

Leonard: "NO! OW! Oh dear God. Nosebleed! Nosebleed! "

He pinches his nostrils tightly together to stop the blood from gushing all over his white sheets. Then Leonard rushes out of bed to the bathroom for tissue so he can stop up his bleeding nose. Penny grimaces as he leaves then she picks up the phone to answer it.

Penny: "You better put some ice on that!" She puts the phone up to her ear.

Penny: "Hello?"

Amy: "My boyfriend hates me!"

Penny wipes her droopy eyelids with her hand.

Penny: "What?"

Amy: "Everything was going fine and then I ruined it somehow."

Amy sits on the toilet in her robe inside a bathroom stall of the ladies room in the main lodge and pouts.

Penny: "Amy is that you?

Amy: "Yes! Of course! Who else would it be?"

Penny: "Okay, calm down. Tell me what happened?"

Amy: "I tried Penny, but its just no use. We were in the shower together. I managed to get him to second base. It was great and he seemed so into it! I thought he wanted to you know…"

Penny sits up straighter in bed finally awake and interested enough to pay attention to what Amy is saying to her.

Penny: "Yeah?"

Amy: "I was going to try that pretzel move that you told me about, but when I asked him if he wanted to continue in the bedroom he said no. He yelled at me Penny and told me to get out. Sheldon doesn't want to be with me. He could barely even look at me in there. I don't know what else to do."

Penny feels so bad for her and can hear the sadness in Amy's voice. She wishes she could give Amy a hug through the phone.

Penny: "Awe…it's not your fault sweetie. This is Sheldon we're talking about. He freaks out over a handshake you know that."

Amy: "But, this time things were different. I mean here we are out in the woods all alone. He had me all to himself in there, but I don't think he finds me attractive."

Penny frowns at that.

Penny: "Did he say that to you?"

Amy: "No. But, what else could it be? I mean has a guy ever turned you down in the shower?"

Penny: "No! Never! But, you shouldn't compare yourself to me I've been at this a long time. You're a newbie. Try the neck massage thing again you said he liked those, right?"

Amy sighs in despair thinking there is no use and that her nether regions will continue to remain untouched by Sheldon forever.

Amy: "Oh what's the use! I should just give up on this. He's never going to want to be with me."

Penny: "You can't give up! Why if guys gave up every time us girls turned them down for sex then the human race would never survive."

Leonard comes back into his room holding a hand towel full of ice against his face.

Leonard: "Hey, who are you talking to?"

Penny whispers back to Leonard as he crawls into bed.

Penny: "Its Amy, she's having a rough time with Sheldon."

Leonard scoffs in pain as he rests his head back down on the pillow.

Leonard: "Yeah, what else is new?"

Penny: "Apparently, their attempt at showering together didn't go so well."

Leonard smiles because he realizes he might have just won a bet that he has going with Penny, Howard and Rajesh that Sheldon would totally wuss out.

Leonard: "Awesome! You so owe me twenty bucks! Did he cry? Oh please tell me he cried."

He laughs a bit while Penny rolls her eyes at Leonard and tells him to shush.

Amy: "How am I going to face him after this, Penny?"

Penny doesn't want Amy to give up on Sheldon and secretly she also doesn't want to lose the bet so she tries to give her some more encouragement.

Penny: "You can't let Sheldon intimidate you. Just get some rest sweetie then try again tomorrow. You're a smart woman and he's a skinny little man-child so it may take him awhile, but eventually he'll reach puberty."

Amy: "Maybe, I don't know Penny. I should go Gerard is waiting for me."

Penny can hear the buzzing sound of Amy's toothbrush as she turns it on which totally creeps Penny out.

Penny: "Uh…yeah…okay. Night, Amy."

Amy: "Night, bestie!"

Amy hangs up her cell then she looks down at her vibrating toothbrush.

Amy: "Hello, old friend."

She puts her toothbrush between her legs and pictures Sheldon in the shower in her mind.

Meanwhile, Sheldon finishes his shower alone then collects the rest of their things left in the bathroom and heads back to the cabin.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: The Camping Conundrum **

The next day Sheldon wakes up in his cabin terrified by the sound of chirping birds and crickets outside his window.

Sheldon: "Danger! Danger!"

Sheldon sits straight up in bed then glances at his watch, its 6am. He looks over at the empty bed next to his own. He realizes Amy didn't come back to the cabin last night at all. Sheldon wishes Amy was there to shoo the birds away and to check his ears for ticks.

He made sure to take an extra long shower last night after she left so he wouldn't have to shower again this morning. But, Sheldon frowns as he scratches his legs and analyzes the small red mosquito bites that came from walking back to cabin last night. He quickly gets dressed for the day ready to enlist all the teachers help to find his stolen belongings from whichever bratty pranksters stole them.

Sheldon has had quite enough of this camping trip and he tries to call Leonard to come pick him up so he can go home. He doesn't want to stay here alone another night even if it means he may have to find another job for quitting the team.

Sheldon starts to panic again when he takes out his cell phone, and cannot get any signal.

Sheldon: "Oh God! This is a nightmare!"

He opens the small closet door then pulls out his emergency bag to try using his emergency cell phone, but that one also will not get a signal.

Sheldon: "I hate this place!"

He repacks his stuff and heads out for the main lodge, but Sheldon stops immediately in his tracks when he sees a monstrous creature scavenging for food right outside his front door.

Sheldon screams louder than ever before waking up most of the camp with his cries for help.

Pamela and Amy are already awake chatting in their cabin about the day's schedule of activities when they hear his screaming. Both ladies run outside expecting to see Sheldon being mauled by a bear or something else horrible.

Pamela: Dr. Cooper! Dr. Cooper? Open up! What is it?

Amy's heart pounds in her chest with fear as she beats on the cabin door with her fist praying Sheldon is okay.

Sheldon opens the door quickly and pulls her inside. Pamela rushes in behind Amy and Sheldon slams the door shut again fearing the monster will attack them all.

Amy: "What's wrong Sheldon?"

Sheldon: "What's wrong? What's wrong, I'll tell you what's wrong! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

Amy looks out the window by the bed then she frowns and rolls her eyes in annoyance.

Amy: "There is nothing out there Sheldon!"

Sheldon: "That is because it ran around back! It was huge!"

Pamela: "What was it? Did you see a bear?"

Sheldon: "It's known as Procyon lotor, a ravenous beast! It's the largest of the procyonid family with an insatiable appetite and aggressive nature from what I've witnessed. Back home in Texas, my father got to close to one once when he was taken out the garbage and it almost killed him! After that, I never took out the trash again."

Pamela looks at Amy totally confused by Sheldon. She raises her eyebrows.

Pamela: "Is he talking about what I think he's talking about?"

Amy folds her arms, nods at her then glares at Sheldon for acting so crazy and nearly scaring them half to death over nothing.

Amy: "Really Sheldon? You're having a panic attack over a raccoon!

He frowns at her unable to grasp how she cannot be just as afraid as he is right now.

Sheldon: "Amy this is serious. They carry rabies! I knew I should have packed my daddy's old gun!"

Amy: "Oh give me a break! That raccoon is not going to bite you Sheldon."

Sheldon: "You don't know that for sure! And where the hell were you this morning huh? There were birds here too. I can't take this anymore. This entire place gives me hives. I never should have come on this trip."

Pamela sighs sadly then opens the door to leave.

Pamela: "I'm sorry you feel that way Dr. Cooper. But, if you'll excuse me I have a program to run. Breakfast starts in one hour."

She leaves Sheldon's cabin still shaking her head in disbelief at his craziness. Amy sits on his bed and hangs her head to gather her thoughts. She takes a deep breath then she looks back up at Sheldon. Amy decides to use her stern voice with him.

Amy: "Sheldon! Come sit down! You're embarrassing yourself and you're embarrassing me. You have got to pull it together."

Sheldon sighs and sits down on the bed across from her.

Sheldon: "Where were you this morning?"

Amy: "I told you last night I was going to stay with Pamela. You didn't want me to spend the night here with you so I didn't."

Sheldon shakes his head at that.

Sheldon: "I never said that!"

She frowns at him confused again.

Amy: "Yes, you told me to leave."

Sheldon: "That was different! You were trying to touch me in strange places."

Amy: "No, I was trying to make you happy! But, you just kicked me out like a dog! You don't care about me at all Sheldon. You're so afraid of everything! Afraid of birds, afraid of raccoons, afraid of germs, afraid of being close to me! You know when I was growing up all the guys rejected me so I got use to it. I was never pretty enough for them to go out with and they all thought I was weird because I loved science so much. None of them ever accepted me until I met you, but no one ever made me feel as bad as you did last night! I shouldn't have to trick you or beg you to be with me Sheldon! You're my boyfriend for god's sake! If you don't want be here at this camp then go! I can do this on my own."

Sheldon: "Wait, what are you saying?"

She rolls her eyes at him.

Amy: "Just go back to Pasadena and play videogames with the guys. I'll stay here and teach the kids about science because at least science makes me happy!"

Sheldon stares at her not sure what to say. He had no idea she felt this way and looking at her sad face makes his stomach feel queasy again. He frowns at her confused by her sudden change of heart.

Sheldon: "Is that some kind of sarcasm? Cause if it is you know I don't particularly care for this game."

Amy scoffs, stands up ready to leave him and this cabin for good.

Amy: "No, its not sarcasm, Sheldon!"

He still thinks it's a game to figure out what she is feeling so he studies her facial expression then takes another guess at what she might be feeling.

Sheldon: "Oh so if its not sarcasm…uh…wait are you angry?"

She throws her hands up in the air exasperated.

Amy: "Yes I'm angry! Of course I'm angry!

He smiles happy that he guessed right.

Sheldon: "Wow! I'm better at this than I thought."

Amy sighs sadly.

Amy: "Sheldon, I suggest we invoke clause 119-5 of our agreement.

His mouth opens up in shock when he hears her say this. He knows clause 119-5 is the exit clause for their relationship agreement that terminates their contract and their relationship with each other.

Sheldon: "What? Wait! No, I refuse to second that motion."

Amy frowns at him and stares into his eyes deeply searching for answers.

Amy: "Why?"

Sheldon: "Well…..I…I mean…Amy I…like our relationship the way it is. I don't want to end it."

Amy: "Really is that so?"

Sheldon nervously nods at her like a child in fear of being left alone in the woods.

Amy: "Then give me one good reason why I should stay here in this cabin with you. And don't you dare say to help check your ears for ticks!"

Sheldon studies her face for several seconds and he notices her eyes are watering. Her hair is still disheveled from sleep and it blows back gently with the wind sweeping through the log walls of the cabin. Amy's cheeks and lips are redder and her pupils are dilated because she is so upset. She is standing with her hands on her hips and he realizes something new about her appearance. He decides to make his thoughts known to her because he's not sure what else to say and he doesn't realize what it implies about his feelings.

Sheldon: "You look surprisingly attractive when you're angry? Did you know this?"

Amy can't believe he just said this to her. She studies his face and quickly realizes that he is being totally serious which shocks her even more.

Amy: "Wait! Are you saying that you find me attractive?"

Sheldon studies her body for a second and feels slightly aroused by it. He stands up again and moves closer to her to get a better view.

Sheldon: "Well you probably could use another shower and maybe a hairbrush, but yes I do."

Amy: "Oh Sheldon!"

She throws her arms around his neck and hugs him delighted that he feels this way about her. Sheldon is confused by her sudden excitement over this, but he decides to put his arms around her body to hug her back. He thinks to himself "Woman, what a handful!" as he holds her in his arms.

Amy: "So you do want to be with me?"

He stares back at her flummoxed as to why she sounds at all surprised by this fact.

Sheldon: "Well of course I do! I never said that I didn't."

Amy: "You know Sheldon, I'm just as new at this whole relationship paradigm as you are, but from what I recall from watching modern cinema and sitcoms with Penny and Bernadette during our bimonthly sleepovers this is usually the part where the handsome protagonist kisses the fairer woman to show his desire for her."

He wrinkles his eyebrows in confusion and stares into her eyes.

Sheldon: "But, this is not a sitcom."

She smirks back at him.

Amy: "Really, are you sure about that? If you want me to stay with you then you'll have to prove it. Kiss me."

Sheldon sighs he can tell that she is not going to let this kissing thing go so he gently kisses her on the cheek hoping that will make her happy again.

Amy grins in delight then pulls on his arm so he'll bend his knees. Then she kisses Sheldon firmly on the lips. At first he tenses up nervously, but soon he relaxes against her mouth. A few seconds later Sheldon finally forgets all about his fear of the raccoon and kisses her back enjoying it. Amy giggles as she pulls Sheldon into their small closet for seven minute in heaven make-out session. After about four minutes of french kissing in there Sheldon starts to realize that maybe camping with Amy isn't so bad after all.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: The Norwegian Newcomer **

The students sleepily and slowly come out of their cabins for breakfast. Pamela Feynman makes them all stand for the pledge of allegiance before they can eat.

Amy pulls her lips away from Sheldon when she hears the Star Spangled Banner music playing outside over the loud speakers. Amy reopens the closet door then she smiles at Sheldon and holds out her hand for him to take hold of.

Amy: "Well, we better get out there."

Sheldon shakes his head still light headed from kissing. He is far too anxious to come out and deal with all those annoying kids again, especially right after his first real make out session.

Sheldon: "Forget it! I'm not going back out there with those heathens!"

Amy: "Come on, we both agreed to do this. It's our job."

He continues to shake his head at her unwilling to budge on the matter.

Sheldon: "No, my job is solving quantum physics equations while studying unified string theory within the early universe. Trying to teach those kids is a waste of my time and precious mental faculties. You go on ahead without me."

Amy sighs then frowns at him. She stomps her foot loudly on the creaky wooden floor.

Amy: "Sheldon Cooper, if you don't get out of that closet right now I'm going to give you a spanking!"

Sheldon gasps in horror at her threat then he quickly exits the closet. He pouts his lip out and folds his arms together in front of his chest like a whiny toddler.

Sheldon: "You wouldn't dare!?"

Amy: "Don't test me Sheldon! I will spank you and I'll like it."

She almost wants to continue with _"and so will you",_ but she restrains herself. Amy grins lecherously as she takes a few steps closer to him and cracks her knuckles loudly as if preparing for a smack down.

He gasps at her again then Sheldon pouts even more. He doesn't understand that she is just trying to be playful with him at the moment. Instead he takes her words as a serious threat upon his physical well being.

Sheldon: "Why are you being so mean to me? You know I don't like these people."

She sighs once more then Amy moves closer.

Amy: "I'm not trying to be mean. But, we owe it to those kids to teach them about science. Just because you don't like teaching doesn't mean they won't like learning from us. Give them a chance already."

Sheldon: "But….but, I don't wanna." He replies in a childish voice.

Amy: "Do it for me please baby."

She takes one more step leans in and gives him one last juicy kiss. Sheldon feels his entire body tingle with delight. He has never heard her call him "baby" before and a part of him wants to protest it while the rest of him just wants more of her.

He slowly lets his arms fall down by his sides so she can press her vixen body up against his just like when they were in the closet making out. Amy reaches behind him and deliberately squeezes his small firm buttocks. Sheldon backs away immediately terrified she is about to start hitting him like she said she would. He walks towards the door to open it for her.

Sheldon: "If I agree to do this will you at least help me get my stuff back from those little monsters? I need my batman belt. Please Amy!"

Amy stares at Sheldon's childish begging face. She can't resist it so she nods in agreement when he looks at her with his patented bittersweet, seemingly innocent baby face.

Amy: "Okay, I'll figure out what happened to your things. Just try to be nice today okay. The kids aren't all bad."

With that last statement Amy walks through the doorway as she does so she takes Sheldon's hand to pull him along with her. They walk together hand in hand out towards the picnic tables to eat. After breakfast is over Amy gathers together their ten students for their first lesson of the day. Sheldon makes them stand in a horizontal line then he repeats several of his rules and expectations as he paces back and forth like an Army commander ready to instruct his troops.

Sheldon: "Raise your hand if you have a question. No gum chewing! No touching me or any one else for that matter, but definitely not me. Keep your sticky germy hands to yourselves. Don't eyeball me! Take lots of notes. Don't look any birds in the eye, they hate that. No running! No jumping! Don't ask me stupid questions. Always remember that even if you think I am wrong I have an IQ of one hundred eighty seven so that makes me much smarter than any of you. It also makes me right. Be polite to your fellow group members. No rolling your eyes! No talking to one another! No daydreaming unless it involves Einstein's cosmological constant. Make sure to finish all your homework. No late homework will be accepted, no exceptions! No bladder voiding unless it's an emergency. No passing notes during our lectures. And absolutely no cheating on the quizzes! If you cheat you fail! Now are there any questions before we begin?"

Donovan Anderson raises his hand immediately after hearing Sheldon finally finishes talking. Sheldon stares at him.

Sheldon: "Yes."

Donovan: "Do we really have to take another quiz today?"

Sheldon scoffs and snorts in derision at the poor boy.

Sheldon: "Well how else are you going to be ready for Sunday's final exam?"

The boy frowns in shock when he hears this news.

Donovan: "There's going to be a final exam too?"

Sheldon: "Yes, of course! But, I kept all of my exam questions at a high school reading level and there are only 250 questions, which is the lowest amount I've ever given on a test so you're welcome. Now be quiet!"

Donovan sighs sadly while most of the other students glare at Sheldon. Like him they wish they had never come on this trip. Only one young man in the group seems excited about being here. Anton Larsis a foreign exchange student from Norway. He is the only one who actually enjoyed listening to Amy's serial killer campfire tale because it took place in his home country. He also thinks Amy is quite the vixen and she reminds him of the sexy scientist tutor back in Norway that he lost his virginity too. Anton stares at her hoping for an opportunity to make his move on his new hot teacher.

Amy: "Sheldon why don't we take everyone on a nature walk? Then we can point out the various animal species, flora, and fauna surrounding us."

She points towards a walking trail leading away from the campsite that many of the other groups are taking, but Sheldon immediately doesn't like the looks of it.

Sheldon: "No. Going into the woods is far too dangerous. I suggest we stay here and start from the beginning with physics. These kids obviously have had a very inadequate education thus far. It's time they learn the real facts about life."

Amy: "Okay, go ahead and start."

Amy instructs all of the students to take their seats on two of the picnic tables nearby. The students sit down and open their notebooks. Sheldon grins as he looks up at the pretty blue sky above them. He raises his hand up in the air dramatically as he begins his physics lecture

Sheldon: "It was a warm summer's eve in Ancient Greece…."

Amy already knows where he is going with this because she has heard his physics lecture before. She immediately interrupts him knowing it will be too much for the children to understand.

Amy: "Sheldon, these students are not ephebic enough for your advanced albeit fascinating wealth of knowledge. They want to have fun! You know like our Fun with Flags podcasts."

Sheldon thinks about her idea for a moment the he nods at her.

Sheldon: "Alright, I yield the floor to you and Ferdinand T. Flag."

He steps aside to let Amy do her Ferdinand T. Flag voice that they both believe will make it easier for these ignorant students to understand science better. However, the students hate the voice immediately. Ferdinand T. Flag sounds like a Sesame Street Muppets character to them and incredibly lame one at that. But, Amy continues on undeterred by the students' eye rolling and booing. Sheldon wishes he still had his tear gas to shut them up.

Amy: "Listen up boys and girls! Today we're going to learn about a wonderful scientific word called physika!"

Sheldon smiles at her delighted by her charming ability to remind him of his childhood with her funny flag voice. He follows her lead.

Sheldon: "Yes, physika is the original Greek word for physics."

Amy: "That's right boys and girls!"

Amy grins at them and waves a tiny white flag with a black smiley face on it.

Sheldon: "And do any of you know what the word physics means?"

Several of the students put their heads down on the desk to ignore them, but Anton raises his hand up and squirms excitedly in his chair for the chance to prove himself.

Sheldon: "What do you have to use the bathroom or something?"

Anton: "No, I want to answer the question."

Sheldon: "Oh really? Okay great, I could use a good laugh."

Anton: "Physics is the science of natural things."

Sheldon's eyes widen in shock that this young man actually gave the correct answer. Anton's fellow students also look at him surprised.

Sheldon: "That was uh…correct. What is your name young man?"

Anton: "My name is Anton Lars."

Amy smiles excited that he got it right. She quickly walks over to the boy.

Amy: "Hold out your hand Anton."

He looks at her nervously wondering why she wants to see his hand, but after a few moments he finally puts his hand out on the picnic table. Amy puts a cute little flag sticker on his hand and grins. He looks down at the sticker confused by why she is giving him one, but her smile makes him happy so he smiles back.

Anton: "Um... thank you Miss. Fowler."

Amy: "Its scratch and sniff! Smells just like strawberries! And it's Dr. Fowler."

He smells the sticker than he smiles at her.

Anton: "It smells lovely, and I must say you do as well…Dr. Fowler."

Amy shyly blushes at the boy's sweet remark. But, Sheldon decides to test Anton's knowledge of science further.

Sheldon: "Tell me Anton, have you ever heard of string theory?"

Anton: "Of course I have. String theory postulates that electrons and quarks within in an atom are not merely zero-dimensional objects, but are one-dimensional oscillating lines or strings if you prefer. Would you like me to also explain the differences between bosonic, heterotic and simplified string theory?"

Amy grins in delight at his very intelligent answer. She places two more flag stickers on his hand.

Amy: "That was very good! Also, if you get up to twenty-five stickers in a row you'll get a flag pencil and a notepad."

Anton: "Really, so how many stickers do I need to get your phone number?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: The Game Changer**

The other nine kids all go "Ooooooh" and giggle at Anton's flirty pick up line. Sheldon on the other hand is starting to get annoyed with Mr. Smarty Pants.

Sheldon: "Pish Posh….those were very easy questions. How about I give you a hard one?"

Anton: "Sure, go for it."

The boy grins with confidence at him before turning to ogle Amy once again.

An evil looking smile appears on Sheldon's face. He is so ready to put this foreigner in his place. Sheldon pulls out his own flag pencil and notepad that Amy gave him during their second podcast together after he answered all of her questions correctly. He writes down a very difficult quantum physics equation that he designed himself then Sheldon tears off the page and holds it up for all the students to see."

Sheldon: "Alright, try solving this?"

All the students except for Anton stare at Sheldon's equation like it's not even humanly possible to read much less answer it. They are starting to wonder if Sheldon is from some other planet. The symbols on the page look totally unfamiliar to them, but Anton whips out his pen and a calculator from his back pocket.

Anton: "Let me have that."

Amy takes the piece of paper with the equation on it from Sheldon and gives it to Anton. It takes him only minutes to finishing solving the equation. He writes the answer down then holds up the paper for Dr. Cooper and everyone else to see.

Anton: "The answer is seventy-three."

Sheldon mouth gaps open when he sees the page. He was sure this kid wouldn't be able to figure his equation out. In fact, this equation was one he invented as part of his first doctoral thesis and it managed to stump even his professors in college. He realizes Anton must be another child prodigy, but he doesn't want to believe that the boy could be as smart as him.

Amy: "You got it right again! Well done!"

Amy is about to reward him with the notepad and pencil, but Sheldon interrupts her.

Sheldon: "Not so fast! He didn't answer enough questions yet.

Amy: "Oh come on Sheldon, we don't always have to stick to every rule do we?"

Sheldon: "Uh Duh! That is what the rules are for!"

Anton: "It's alright, Dr. Fowler. I can wait. Just give me so more stickers. I like it when you touch my hand anyway."

He holds his hand out for her again and Amy smiles as she places three more stickers on his hand. Sheldon curses in Klingon under his breath when she does this because the mere thought of being upstaged by a little prepubescent _**petaQ **_is infuriating."

Sheldon: "Anton, where did you go to school?"

Anton: "My parents sent me to boarding school in Switzerland, but they are letting me take a semester off to visit the United States since I'm already years ahead of my class. My uncle works for CERN on the Large Hadron Collider project there. I've been to several of the CERN seminars. Might even teach one when I return. Have you heard of the project, Dr. Cooper?"

Sheldon: "Well of course! I know everything there is to know about the Large Hadron Collider. I've been planning to go there my entire life. And F.Y.I when I do go Dr. Fowler will be accompanying me. "

Amy looks at Sheldon surprised to hear this news.

Amy: "I will?"

Sheldon: "Yes."

Anton: "Oh. Well perhaps you and Dr. Fowler would like a tour. I'd be happy to arrange it with my uncle."

Anton smiles at Amy again hoping she is impressed. She giggles delighted by Anton's attention. She is not use to having a young man crushing on her, but Amy finds the experience intensely flattering, especially because he happens to look like a younger version of Sheldon very tall and slim. Only Anton has much longer golden hair common to his Norwegian heritage, but with similar piercing blue eyes.

Amy: "Well that's very nice of you Anton, but we really should get back to our lecture now."

Anton nods politely and continues staring at Amy's behind when she walks away from him. Sheldon loves the idea of a private tour by a CERN official, but he doesn't love the way this boy keeps objectifying his woman one bit. He is very close to smacking Anton upside the back of the head just like his mother use to do to him whenever he didn't pay attention during church as a boy.

Amy begins talking in her Ferdinand voice once more and continues on with the lecture. While she talks about science, Anton doodles a beautiful and anatomically correct drawing of her. After the lecture is over and it's finally time for a break he gets up from the table then Anton hands the drawing to her.

Amy: "Wow! I must say you have incredible artistic ability."

Anton: "Thank you. I can't take all the credit. After all, I had a lovely subject to work from. My mother is a painter and she taught me to admire the beauty in others. I see that in you."

Amy's face turns bright red.

Amy: "Oh well that's sweet, no one says I'm beautiful."

She nervously twists a lock of her hair around one finger as if she's forgotten that she is almost twice his age and no longer a school girl.

Anton: "On the contrary, you are beautiful. Øynene glitrer som solen."

Amy giggles again because she understands what he just said to her.

Amy: "Oh stop."

She nudges the boy with her hand playfully and Anton's grin grows wider.

Sheldon frowns in disbelief that this boy is so forward with her and he is even more appalled by Amy's behavior towards him. Anton looks at Sheldon's confused unhappy face and just assumes he doesn't understand what he said. The boy decides to explain it to Dr. Cooper.

Anton: "Oh that's Norwegian for your eyes sparkle like the sun."

Sheldon glares at him as he squeezes his pencil so hard in his fist that it breaks.

Sheldon: "I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!"

Anton: "Okay, good for you."

He returns his attention to Amy then he whispers into her ear so Sheldon can't hear what he is saying. He tells Amy that last night he was leaving the main lodge after purchasing a new toothbrush and noticed three young boys throwing clothes into the dumpster along with what looked like the same ugly goggles Dr. Cooper had been wearing earlier.

Anton overheard them talking about it being their best prank ever and Anton tells Amy he thought she should know about this prank. He also tells her the names of the boys responsible for it. Amy writes their names down so she can make sure they are punished later for their actions.

Amy smiles at Anton then she looks at Sheldon. Sheldon tries to look away from them both and pretend he doesn't care what they are talking about. But, his Vulcan hearing catches most of what the boy said; only he doesn't understand all of it because he hasn't finished learning the entire Norwegian language yet. However, Sheldon refuses to admit this in front of the boy.

Amy: "Well thanks for telling me. We were in for quite a search. This information is most helpful"

Anton: "No problem, ma'am. Dr. Fowler I want to tell you how much I enjoyed your story last night. I found your campfire tale quite riveting. Perhaps you will tell us more about your time spent in my home country tonight. I'd love to hear it."

Amy: "Well thank you. Perhaps I will."

Anton smiles as he holds out his hand one last time for another sticker. Amy gives him a sticker that smells like sunflowers as a thank you for giving him the information about Sheldon's stolen belongings.

Anton: "I will cherish these forever. Adieu. Madame. Adieu."

The young boy finally leaves to use the bathroom. Sheldon rolls his eyes at how pretension the kid sounded as Anton walks away from them.

Sheldon: "Can you believe that kid? Lord, he was really laying it on thick! I mean what was that nonsense about your eyes sparking like the sun?"

Amy: "Well what's wrong with that? Don't you like my eyes Sheldon?"

Sheldon: "That's not the point!"

Amy: "He's just got a school boy crush. It's sweet, but there's no need to be jealous."

Sheldon: "Who said I was jealous? I'm not jealous! That is a stupid person's emotion."

Amy laughs and puts on Ferdinand voice.

Amy: "Oh its okay Mr. Grumpy H. Gustafson I'm not going anywhere. Would you like a sticker too to help you feel better Mr. Grumpy Gustafson?

Sheldon's frown widens and he throws down his notepad on a picnic table.

Sheldon: "Don't call me that! I'm not being grumpy and I'm not a mister! I have two PhDs that kid doesn't even have one. I just do not like little smart mouth know it all teenagers with hippie hair. Now what was all that whisper about? "

Amy laughs then she returns to her normal voice.

Amy: "Before I tell you first I want you to say something nice about my eyes."

He scoffs in frustration and throws his arms up in the air.

Sheldon: "Okay, now you're just being unreasonable again."

Amy: "Oh am I?"

She folds her arms as she sits down on the picnic table.

Amy: "I happen to know exactly where all your stuff is Sheldon, but I'm not going to help you find any of it until you at least say something nice like Anton did. He's just a teenager, but he's got better game then you.

Sheldon: "Game? What game? This isn't a game!"

Amy: "You know "Game" it's the slang term used by modern males looking to have sexual intercourse or in laymen's terms "Score". Don't you want to score with me Sheldon? It sure sounds like Anton does, but he's a little young for me don't you think?"

She giggles again while Sheldon just stares at her like she's completely lost her mind.

Sheldon thinks about it and finally recalls that Koothrappali once taught him all about game and scoring with women, but he always thought the game sounded super ridiculous. He didn't think it was fun to play that game one bit and only lead to some stranger annoying girl hanging out in his room while he was forced to sleep in Leonard's room just to be polite.

Sheldon: "So you're saying you want me to lie about parts of your anatomy just on the off chance I might gain access to your genitals? I'm sorry, but that's just stupid."

Amy frowns at him.

Amy: "Well, gee golly it shouldn't have to be a lie! You said earlier that you found me attractive. I think you're incredibly handsome and I tell you so all the time. Your eyes are a very lovely shade of blue. I just want to bath in them. Is complimenting my eyes really that difficult for you to do?"

Sheldon: "No! They're fine, you're eyes are fine right? I mean I may be a doctor, but I'm not an ophthalmologist."

Amy sighs unimpressed with his compliment.

Amy: "Fine, that's it?"

He can tell right away that she thinks what he said is an insufficient answer. He doesn't want to upset her so he tries again.

Sheldon: "Wait; to be honest they're not just fine, they're uh also sort of brown."

She rolls her eyes and groans annoyance.

Amy: "Oh just forget it Sheldon!"

She stands up angrily ready to head off to bathroom. Sheldon grabs her hand to keep her from leaving. Amy looks down at their interlocked hands surprised by his willingness to touch her all of a sudden. He stares at her eyes to get her attention back on him.

Sheldon: "You're eyes look um… like um…warm tea to me.

She stares at him even more confused by his answer. However, he is quite serious about this compliment.

Amy: "Tea?"

Sheldon: "Yes, they remind me of tea and cocoa you know all my favorite warm beverages. It makes them comforting to look at. "

Amy's eyes flutter in surprise. Sheldon studies her facial expression not sure if he gave her the correct answer, but its best he could come up with. His palms sweat as he waits for her reply. She places a sticker on his cheek to let him know he finally gave her the right answer then she kisses him gently on the cheek.

Amy: "See now that wasn't so hard. I'm a lady Sheldon and sometimes ladies like to hear how nice we look. Psychologically it helps to raise self esteem, but more importantly it aids in sexual desire for our mates as well as keeps us from biting off men's heads you know like the female praying mantis does after intercourse."

Sheldon stares into her eyes. He is slowly starting to understand what all this silly love-y dove-y complimenting each other stuff is about and its true purpose. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Anton and some of the other kids in their group returning from their bathroom break. Sheldon wants to make absolutely sure that he will win this "Game" and teach Anton a lesson so he grabs Amy's face and kisses her on the lips just to make sure that everyone knows she belongs to him.

Anton frowns when he sees this while the other kids "Oooohh" even louder than they did before. As he watches the boy's sad face Sheldon's evil smile returns. He is not sure how exactly this "Game" is scored, but he happily believes he just won it.

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy these new chapters. Please leave feedback :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: The Flatland Fantasy **

Amy is surprised by Sheldon's passionate kiss. He stares into her comforting eyes as he holds her in his arms close for a few more seconds not sure what to say or do next. Amy is so turned on by his kiss she doesn't want to wait any longer to be with him.

She takes a couple of deep breathes to calm down her quickening heart rate. Then Amy looks at their giggling students.

Amy: "Okay everyone ...uh I propose we take a recess! Make sure to study all your notes and um….we'll do the quiz after lunch. Class dismissed!"

Amy smiles then she grabs her school supplies and Sheldon's hand. She pulls him towards their cabin ready to have her way with him. Their students are stunned at first to see them rush off so fast, but the kids soon realize they are finally free to do whatever they want. Several of them head to the Yosemite main lodge to hang out for awhile. But, Anton goes back to his cabin instead to sulk and to study up for the quiz.

As Amy pulls Sheldon away from the picnic towards the forest he starts to get nervous that she may be dragging him into the scary woods.

Sheldon: "Wait! Amy! Where are you taking me?"

Amy: "I want you now Sheldon Cooper!"

Sheldon: "For what?"

Amy: "My loins are inflaming as we speak. I want you to make love to me!"

Sheldon fears he has made a very terrible error in judgment and he is not use to making mistakes. He was only trying to prove to her that he could win her little "Game" But, he didn't realize that kissing her would lead to coitus too. He pulls his hand away from her and stops dead in his tracks.

Sheldon: "No, stop…uh we can't do that!"

Amy sighs in sexual frustration and frowns at him.

Amy: "Why not?"

Sheldon darts his eyes around nervously trying to come up with a reasonable escape.

Sheldon: "Because….uh because…I have a headache."

Amy frowns at him then coyly smiles.

Amy: "That's alright, I know how to fix that. Let's go!"

Sheldon: "No Amy! I need to find my stuff first. You said you would help me look remember!"

Amy: "I know where all of your stuff is Anton just told me."

A smile finally appears on Sheldon's face when he hears this news.

Sheldon: "Really! Where?"

Amy folds her arms across her chest. She doesn't say a word and he stares at her growing more and more anxious for an answer.

Sheldon: "Well?"

Amy: "Nope! I'm not going to tell you. Not until you agree to come back to the cabin, rip off all my clothes and ride me like a real Texas cowboy should. YEEHAW!"

Amy swings her arm around above her head like she's holding a riding crop. Sheldon mouth gaps open in shock. He can't understand why she is acting this way.

Sheldon: "But…but that's blackmail!"

A lecherous looking smile appears on her face as she nods back at him.

Amy: "You got that right! I'm horny and it's all your fault for being so sexy! So what are you going to do about it?"

Sheldon: "Well...I…I!"

He stares into her eyes feeling totally stymied by her desire for him. Sheldon realizes his girlfriend is behaving just like a sexy super villain. This new revelation turns him on and terrifies him all at the same time. He's always been attracted to comic book villains so he immediately pictures Amy standing there wearing a tight black leather Catwoman costume. This sexy image of her makes his body heat up with arousal. But, Sheldon doesn't feel like the Batman to her Catwoman instead he feels like a mouse about to be eaten up by her.

Amy taps her foot impatiently waiting for his answer. She knows this is wrong of her and under normal circumstances she would not be so aggressive with him, but Amy just can't help herself anymore.

Amy: "So are we going to do this or what?"

He sighs nervously and shuffles his feet as he looks down at the ground then Sheldon looks back up at her.

Sheldon: "Fine, you give me no choice."

Amy grins at him delighted he's finally given in. She takes his hand again. Once they are back inside the cabin, she quickly begins to unbutton her flabby brown cardigan.

Sheldon walks over to a small corner of the room and removes his shoes. He neatly places them under his bed as he sits down on it. Then he sighs loudly like an anxious wounded animal does right before it is about to be devoured by a Tigress.

Amy frowns as she stares at his forlorn looking face. She stops undressing herself and goes to sit down on his bed next to him.

Amy: "Forget it! I don't know what came over me. Sheldon, I'm sorry. I don't want our first time to be because of blackmail. You obviously don't want to do this I can see it in your eyes. You're stuff is in the dumpster behind the main lodge. I'll go get it okay."

She stands up sadly ready to leave the cabin and get his stolen goods out of the dumpster, but Sheldon takes hold of her wrist with one hand. He watches her nervously for a moment his mouth is dry and his palm are sweating, but he speaks up before she can let go.

Sheldon: "No, you're wrong Amy I…I think maybe…uh…I do want this. It's just….I"

He pauses too afraid to tell her the truth about his feelings. Amy stares back at Sheldon then she sits back down on the bed to comfort him.

Amy: "Sheldon, I understand you're intimidated by my rampant sexuality and really who can blame you. I'm the perfect combination of virgin and vixen. But, you've got to know that I would never try to hurt you. When we kiss or touch I love it! I can't help that, I just do. I don't feel afraid or weird when I'm with you. I feel good, I feel normal and that makes me want sex. But, if the thought of coitus gives you a headache and makes you sad then well I'm not about to make things even worse between us."

Sheldon: "I'm not sad! Stupid people make me sad and you're not one of them. You're brilliant Amy Farrah Fowler. Maybe you're too brilliant for your own good. I don't even know what to do with you at times. You confuse me and I don't like to be confused. I mean how can a highly evolved being like me satisfy your primal sexual appetite? At least give me some guidelines so I know how to proceed?"

Amy: "Well I've never done this before either Sheldon. But, didn't you read that book Penny and Leonard gave you?"

Sheldon nods at her, but then he wrinkles up his face at the thought of that sex book.

Sheldon: "Yes, but it gave me the most awful nightmares! I haven't had nightmares that bad since I was a teenager."

Amy: "Wait. What nightmares?"

Sheldon: "After reading that book I remember dreaming of Flatland only there was none of the usual perfect geometric order instead it was just pure chaos and bacchanal. The circles were engorged intersecting with long, thick line segments and moaning in unison with them. Bongos were playing loudly in the background. Then came the monkeys!

Amy: "Monkeys?"

Sheldon nods as he reminisces about it all.

Sheldon: "The horizontal lines and circles morphed into monkeys for the first time ever in all the years I've visited Flatland. They were beating their chests, howling at one another then the monkeys started masturbating and probing. It was like something you'd see on wild animal kingdom. When the monkeys finally stopped masturbating, they broke out of their cages and quickly evolved into human beings."

Amy watches him bewildered by his strange fantasy. Sheldon raises his hand out in the air outstretched as he recalls what happened.

Sheldon: "The humans started having coitus right in the cockpit of the Starship Enterprise. Dandruff particles were flying everywhere to the point that Spock had to cover his eyes. I woke up immediately after that. But, I couldn't sleep right for days the nightmare just kept on occurring over and over. Cold showers right before bed were the only thing that finally made the nightmares go away. I woke up sweating and feeling feverish every night for a week. My genital area was throbbing in pain. Twice my bed got wet and I swear to you Amy I haven't wet the bed in years not since I stopped experimenting with anal suppositories. So I'm not reading that book again, not ever."

Amy looks back at Sheldon befuddled then she finally cracks up laughing. Sheldon stares at her confused by why she would think this was funny at all.

Amy: "Sheldon, you do know those weren't nightmares you were having right?"

Sheldon: "Well what else could they be?"

Amy: "You had nocturnal emissions a natural biological occurrence that causes an increase in semen production within the male sex organ through the elevation of testosterone and dehydroepiandrosterone. Most people refer to them as wet dreams."

Sheldon: "But, it was still that stupid book that caused it I tell you not me!"

Amy: "Yes, well the book may have been the proximal cause, but we both know it only exists in contradistinction to the higher level distal cause."

Sheldon: "Which is?"

Amy: "Sometimes, even the great Sheldon Cooper can think with his penis."

He frowns at her feeling mostly embarrassed by this.

Sheldon: "Well all I know is I had to throw away my favorite pair of Batman sheets after it was over. I loved those sheets!"

He pouts sadly as he thinks about his sheets.

Amy: "Sheldon, can I ask you something?"

Sheldon: "What?"

Amy: "Were the monkeys that turned into people in your dream you and me?"

Sheldon blushes as he looks away too embarrassed to answer her question which immediately lets her know the answer is really "Yes" so she simply smiles back.

Amy: "I'm glad you have dreams about us it means at least on a subconscious level you want to be with me, but your conscious mind keeps holding you back. You are far too preoccupied with achieving perfection right away."

He scoffs at her.

Sheldon: "Of course I am! I always strive to be the best in everything I do and I succeed. I don't let primal urges get in my way like most inferior people do. I mean look at Penny and Leonard for example those two are always having coitus and you've seen how dumb they act. Those who constantly deplete themselves of energy and bodily fluids for carnal gain have less energy to engage the superior colliculus of their brains. I can't lose my brain Amy; it makes me who I am."

Amy: "True, but you know there are several biological studies that show those who have regular enjoyable sexual intercourse have increases in brain activity and brain functioning. Also, think about all the extra endorphins you'll get from coitus. Those endorphins will boost your energy and make you feel you better."

Sheldon thinks about that for a bit then he finally smiles a little.

Sheldon: "Well I do love endorphins."

Amy: "Of course you do! Who doesn't? Endorphins are great! But, seriously Sheldon you're a scientist and human experimentation is part of why we both love science correct?"

Sheldon nods in agreement with that.

Amy: "Then just think of it as my new experiment. You already agreed to be my guinea pig. So I want to conduct a new trial and error experiment to see what satisfies us sexually and what doesn't."

Sheldon: "Question…in this experiment could I be a white mouse instead of a guinea pig? The brain chemistry of white mice is more similar to humans than guinea pigs."

Amy: "Okay, sure you can be my lab mouse."

Sheldon: "But, Amy I wasn't kidding before I really do have a headache. I was outside too long. I don't like too much fresh air."

Amy: "Then stay here and take a nap. I'll go get your stuff out of the dumpster. Think about what I said and how to make this experiment work. Who knows the right way to start things off might just come to you in another dream.

Amy winks at Sheldon then she stands up and kisses his cheek softly before picking up one of Sheldon's clean vacuum sealable bags to collect his things in. She leaves the cabin to go dumpster diving.

Sheldon lays his head back on the bed thinking about her proposal for a new experiment at first, but soon his mind drifts back to thoughts of them together in Flatland as he falls alseep.

**Note: I am going to finish up this story soon so I hope you all enjoy this chapter and please leave feedback. Thanks for reading. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: The Amorous Advice **

Amy returns from the dumpster an hour later while Sheldon is still napping and dreaming. She decides to let him sleep so he'll be well rested for later. She quietly puts his stolen things down next to his bed so that he will see them when he wakes up. Then Amy goes back to Pamela's cabin to get her own stuff because she plans to stay in Sheldon's cabin instead.

Amy pulls out her sexy blue and black Star Trek nurse costume that she brought on this trip to surprise Sheldon. She hopes wearing it will make Sheldon want to be her Vulcan patient again. She packs up her belongings and returns to cabin seventy three. She hangs her costume up in the closet inside of her hanging bag and closes the door so Sheldon won't see it too soon. Then Amy goes back to the executive washroom to take a shower and wash away the dumpster filth before Sheldon wakes up.

After Amy leaves Joe Jr. knocks on the door of Sheldon's cabin. Sheldon finally wakes up and answers the door. He gives Joe Jr. his father's robe and mother's bunny slippers. Then Sheldon leaves the cabin to go buy more disinfectant so he can spray down his Batman utility belt since he knows it was inside of a dirty, disgusting dumpster.

On the way to the main lodge, he catches Pamela and Barry making out behind a large tree. They immediately stop kissing when Sheldon walks up and stands close by waiting for them to acknowledge his presence. Pamela blushes nervously while Barry frowns at him. Sheldon stares back at them ignoring the extreme awkwardness of the situation.

Sheldon: "Have either of you seen Amy?"

Barry: "No!"

Sheldon frowns as he looks around the campsite wondering where she went to.

Pamela: "No, I haven't seen her since this morning, but if you do please tell Amy I'd like my key back. Barry and I want to use the washroom tonight."

She bats her eyelashes at Barry Kripke and he smirks back. They both can't wait to jump into executive hot tub together. But, their sexual desires towards one another barely register with Sheldon. He is far too preoccupied with his own frustrations so he simply nods at Pamela.

Sheldon: "Alright, I'll let her know."

Pamela: "Are you two coming to Karaoke tonight?"

Sheldon: "No, I've recently updated our relationship agreement. Girlfriend-Boyfriend sing along night is now going to be replaced by the far superior Star Trek-Star Wars night. Besides, I've heard Kripke sing before. It's like listening to Elmer Fudd get run over by a lawn mower."

Pamela smiles and does her best to hold back her laughter while Barry glares at Sheldon wishing he would just go away.

Barry: "Whate-w-ver! Go a-w-ay Coo-w-per! We're busy"

Sheldon continues towards the main lodge. Before heading inside the convenience store, he decides to use the phone in the lobby to call Leonard since his cell phone is not getting good reception out here in the woods. Leonard is in their apartment playing an online battle game with Howard and Rajesh when the phone rings.

Leonard: "Ah man, hold up you guys. I got to go AFK!"

He pauses their game to answer the phone. Rajesh grabs his low-carb beer off the coffee table and sips on it. Howard goes to the refrigerator to get another Red Bull.

Leonard: "Hello?"

Sheldon: "I am about to give you a set of instructions that you must follow to the letter."

Leonard: "Sheldon? Hey, buddy how's it going?"

Sheldon: "Step one: Locate your key to the car."

Leonard: "Why?"

Sheldon: "I need you to come pick me up! I have to get out of here before it's too late."

Leonard: "Ahhh…can this wait? Howard, Raj and I are playing Age of Conan. We're in middle of a level 30 quest here."

Sheldon: "This is serious Leonard! I just had another one of those nightmares I told you about. And Amy wants me to satisfy her urges with some sort of sex experiment."

Leonard: "So?!"

Sheldon: "So….you have to help me! I'm in a crisis situation and according to the roommate agreement Paragraph 4, Sub-section H…"

Leonard interrupts Sheldon right away because he doesn't want to hear about the roommate agreement for the gazillionth time.

Leonard: "Oh come on! You finally have a girlfriend that actually wants to have sex with you. That's not a problem Sheldon, that's a freaking MIRACLE! Stop being a cry baby and enjoy yourself for a change."

Sheldon: "But, I don't know what I'm doing here."

Leonard: "Well did you bring any condoms?"

Sheldon: "Of course not!"

Leonard: "Then first things first, you need to find some. Trust me when I say the world's not ready for any of your creepy overlord babies running around so make sure to shield up! Is there a drug store nearby there at all?"

Sheldon can see the convenience store located in the main lobby from his place by the telephone. He sighs nervously and nods as he holds the phone up close.

Sheldon: "Yes, but, Leonard you're not listening! I'm not sure I can go through with it."

Leonard: "Sure you can! Think about it. This is your chance to go where no Shel-bot has gone before!"

Rajesh: "Hey, what's going on?"

Leonard: "Sheldon is thinking about having sex with Amy."

Rajesh: "SHUT YOUR FAT ASS!"

Rajesh gasps in shock when hears this and Howard immediately spits out his Red Bull. Howard picks up a napkin to wipe up his drenched shirt and the coffee table.

Leonard frowns at both of them and then he rolls his eyes.

Howard: "Is that even humanly possible?"

Leonard shrugs not totally sure if it is possible, but he wants Sheldon to finally try it anyway since Howard and Raj have already given him the money for winning their earlier bet.

Leonard: "Guess we'll soon find out, but he's not sure what to do."

Rajesh: "Oooo…Oooo…I know tell him to light some scented candles first and he should play something sexy like oh…"

Rajesh snaps his fingers together when he thinks of an answer.

Rajesh: "Lady Gaga!"

Howard stares at Rajesh with mild contempt and confusion.

Howard: "Seriously, Lady Gaga? That's your suggestion. Dude, come on that is so gay!"

Rajesh rolls his eyes.

Rajesh: "Fine, who would you pick then?"

Howard: "He should go old school and classy, play some Barry White or Elton John."

Rajesh frowns at that like his suggestions are even more ridiculous.

Rajesh: "Like Elton John isn't gay?"

Howard shrugs and rolls his eyes at him.

Leonard: "Guys, get serious! This is Sheldon and Amy we're talking about here!"

Rajesh: "Yeah, you're right. He should try some classical harp music, she'd like that."

Howard finally nods in agreement with Raj's suggestion. Then he smirks and picks up his Red Bull again.

Howard: "Doesn't really matter what the poor bastard plays, he won't last more than two seconds. No nerd ever does on his first try. Just tell him not to fart or cry in front of her."

Rajesh: "Hey, its okay if Sheldon cries a little. I did."

Howard stares at Raj and shakes his head.

Howard: "God, you're hopeless."

Leonard: "Hey you two are not helping!"

Leonard rolls his eyes at them. Sheldon gasps out loud.

Sheldon: "Oh No! Here she comes!"

He swiftly ducks his head down when he sees Amy walking down the stairs towards the main lobby.

Leonard: "Just calm down. Take a deep breath just remember you're a level 85 warrior."

Sheldon: "I can't calm down! She's coming Leonard! Oh God! She's coming!"

Leonard holds the phone away from his ear for a moment and looks at it confused.

Leonard: "Wait, is the sex starting now? Sheldon, hey you still there?"

Amy smiles when she sees Sheldon and waves as she walks towards him. He quickly hangs up the phone.

Amy: "Who were you talking to?"

Sheldon: "Nobody! I was talking to no one! I was uh…just checking to see if the phones here work!"

He picks up the phone and listens for the dial tone.

Sheldon: "Yep, they work. It's all good."

Amy frowns at him a bit confused by his weird behavior. She can see that he is sweating nervously; avoiding eye contact and even his face starts twitching which Amy knows means he is hiding something from her.

Amy: "Are you alright? You're face is twitching."

He sighs knowing he's been caught so Sheldon just tells her the truth.

Sheldon: "I just got off the phone with Leonard. I was asking him about coitus, but as usual he wasn't very helpful."

Amy: "Well what did he say?"

Sheldon: "Not much, he just told me to buy condoms."

Amy: "That's actually good advice. You should do that and then meet me back in the cabin at 7 o'clock. I've got a surprise waiting for you."

Sheldon: "But…I…"

Amy puts her finger up to Sheldon's lips to silence him.

Amy: "No more buts! It's almost time for the quiz. You can do this Sheldon. I believe in you."

Sheldon sighs as he apprehensively nods at her. Amy smiles as she watches him walk into convenience store then she locates most of the students playing pool and watching television in the lodge game room. She tells them to meet her and Sheldon back at the picnic tables for their quiz.

**Author's Note: The next chapter after this one is Rated M due to some graphic sexual content so this is just a heads up on that. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: The Norwegian Revenge **

After the students finish their quiz, Sheldon grades the quizzes while Amy finds Pamela and gives her back the washroom key.

Pamela: "Sheldon said you two aren't coming to karaoke tonight."

Amy nods at her trying hard not to smile.

Amy: "That is correct. We've made other plans."

She finally can't hold in her excitement any longer so Amy tells Pamela the truth.

Amy: "Sex plans!"

Pamela looks very much surprised at first, but then she smiles at Amy's giddy childlike excitement.

Pamela: "Wow, okay so he finally agreed to give it up huh?"

Amy nods back at her.

Amy: "It took a lot of convincing, but yes. I just know tonight is going to be so magical!"

Pamela: "I'll bet. Well good luck. Thanks for the key."

Amy: "Wait! I know this is a lot to ask, but could you help me get ready?"

Pamela stares back warily not sure exactly what Amy is asking for.

Pamela: "Um…sure I guess. What do you need me to do?"

Amy: "I really want to look my best for Sheldon tonight. See if my bestie were here she'd give me a full make-up makeover so I'd look hot… you know like Cleopatra!"

Pamela: "Cleopatra?"

Amy nods happily at her as she walks around Pamela's cabin.

Pamela: "Well…let me see. I think I've got some red nail polish and lipstick you can use."

Pamela opens up a little brown case and pulls out her make-up. She shakes up a bottle of sparkly red polish and looks down at Amy's feet.

Pamela: "Sit down over there. Take off your shoes and leggings. When I'm done he won't be able to take his eyes of you."

Amy giggles with glee as she sits down on Pamela's bed and removes her shoes. She starts to sing again super excited for what's to come.

Amy: "I'm going out tonight! I'm feeling alright! I'm going let it all hang ooooouuut!"

Sheldon returns to cabin seventy-three after handing out mostly disappointing Ds and Fs on the quizzes to his students. Everyone failed except for Anton. The boy got all the answers right, but Sheldon still manages to use his super strict scoring method to reduce his score. Sheldon gives Anton only eighty five percent because he didn't circle his answers on the quiz like he was supposed to do.

Anton gets very upset by this because he is not use to getting anything less than ninety five percent on any quiz or test. He wants to protest the grade, but since Amy is not there to talk to about it the poor boy stomps off to plan his own special revenge against Dr. Sheldon Cooper for screwing him over.

While walking back to his cabin Anton sees a raccoon rummaging through a trash can near the parking lot. He remembers hearing Dr. Cooper's terrified screams this morning and Dr. Feynman told the students during breakfast that there was nothing to be alarmed about because it was just a raccoon.

He smirks as he pulls a half eaten granola bar out of his pants pocket. Anton knows exactly how to get even with Dr. Cooper now and he quickly approaches the raccoon. He's always been good with animals and he's not the least bit afraid of it. Anton kindly throws down some granola and the raccoon runs over to him.

Sheldon cleans up his cabin for Amy and pulls out some glow sticks from his emergency bag along with some thread from his sewing kit. He strings several green and white glow sticks up around the log rafters on the ceiling so they will provide some pretty mood lighting. He refuses to use candles like Koothrappali suggested because they are a fire hazard, but he does pull out his IPOD in case Amy wants to listen to some music.

He places the condoms he bought in three neat rows on the nightstand. Sheldon has no idea which size will fit him so he purchased each kind they had to test them out. He puts on a clean pair of latex gloves first then he tries the condoms on inside of the closet so no peeping tom will see through the windows of his little one room cabin.

Once he tries each size on and determines that only the magnums will fit Sheldon puts his pants back on and tosses the smaller condoms into his bag. He sits on his bed to catch up on his comic book reading until its time for dinner. But, after only a few minutes of reading Sheldon hears knocking on his door so he gets up to answer it.

Sheldon: "Yes?"

No one is there and he frowns as he steps outside to look around wondering where the knocking came from. Sheldon assumes it must have been the wind or something until he looks down and sees an uneaten candy bar lying on a step right outside his cabin door.

Sheldon picks up the candy bar preparing to throw it away and heads back inside. He freezes in fear when he sees the raccoon he saw earlier has somehow managed to sneak past him into his cabin and is now sitting on his spot in the bed.

Sheldon: "NOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo !"

Anton hides behind the cabin laughing his ass off when he hears Sheldon screaming for mercy. He listens gleefully as Sheldon runs out of the cabin terrified as the hungry raccoon chases after him wanting a taste of the candy bar in his hand.

The boy then opens up a jar of honey and pours it all over Sheldon's bed including his mint conditioned comic books. Anton leaves the cabin whistling and smiling to himself his revenge now complete.

Amy returns to Sheldon's cabin after getting her makeover and sees the mess all over his bed. She frowns in disgust at all of the ants crawling in and she quickly springs in to action. Amy gets rid of the honey stained sheets and sprays the cabin down with bug spray. It takes her over an hour to clean up the mess, but she wants to make sure Sheldon doesn't find his bed this way.

She knows he will totally freak out when he finds out his comic books have been ruined so Amy hides them in the closet. Amy decides its best to take some advice she heard Penny give to Bernadette and wait to break this bad news to him until after they have sex. Barry walks up to the cabin while Amy is still fixing the room and hiding Sheldon's things.

Barry: "Hey, Amy! Gu-w-ess what?"

Amy turns around nervously when she hears his voice.

Barry: "You're wacko boy-fri-w-end is hiding up a t-w-ee like a pu-w-ssy. The park rangers can't get him to come down. You be-w-tt-w-er get out here. "

Amy: "Oh not again!"

She sighs then nods at Kripke. Amy puts on her cardigan and follows Kripke out to rescue her poor crazy man from the raccoon. After several minutes Amy finally manages to talk Sheldon down from a tree limb and convince him the raccoon won't eat him. They eat dinner together in the main lodge then head back to the cabin. Amy picks up Sheldon's IPOD and smirks at him.

Amy: "I'm going to change. You wait here."

Sheldon nods at her as he anxiously inspects the cabin for raccoon droppings. He is pleasantly surprised the room actually looks clean again. He smiles when he sees Amy has already laid out his Friday night pajamas neatly on her bed. Sheldon immediately notices his own bed has been stripped of all the sheets and covers and his comic books are missing. But, he assumes this is Amy's way of getting him to sleep in her bed and keeping him from getting distracted so he just shakes his head and gets ready for bed.

Sheldon lies in the middle of Amy's bed waiting nervously under the covers for her to come out of the closet. She presses a button on his IPOD and it begins to play the theme song to Star Trek. Sheldon smiles happily when he hears the song. Amy dramatically opens the closet door and walks out wearing her sexy Star Trek nurse costume and carrying a medical tricorder.

Amy: "Hello, Dr. Cooper. Are you ready to play intergalactic make believe?"

Sheldon takes a big gulp then he shyly nods too turned on and too nervous to speak. He likes that she calls him Dr. Cooper and he loves the way she looks in her Star Trek get-up.

Amy slowly walks closer and Sheldon watches her every single move. She turns on the tricorder which spins around and lights up green. She rips the blanket away from Sheldon's shaking grasp and holds the tricorder over him to scan his body just like they do on his favorite television series.

Amy: "I'm going to check your vital signs so just relax."

Sheldon immediately feels as if he's been transported to the future. He imagines they are inside of a sterile medical room inside of the Starship Enterprise.

Amy: "You seem to be experiencing increasing levels of sexual arousal Dr. Cooper. My readings indicate that you have …"

She smirks at him as she begins to unzip her tall black boots.

Amy: "….an elevated heart rate?"

Sheldon feels his heart skip a beat as he watches her slip off her boots. His eyes immediately zoom in on the pretty red nail polish on her toes and it reminds him of his favorite Red Vine candy.

Sheldon manages to squeak out a quick "Yes." Then he picks up his notepad off the bedside table and starts writing down and checking off all his symptoms as if this were a real medical experiment.

Amy: "Do you have moist palms?"

Amy licks her lips as she pulls down her tight black leggings. Sheldon glances down at his hands and feel the perspiration forming on them. How can she be doing this to me so easily? He wonders as he stares transfixed by her every movement.

Sheldon: "Yes."

He writes down that his palms are sweating on his tiny checklist. Next, Amy unzips her cute little blue dress and lets it slip down her body revealing the leopard spotted secret she shares with Victoria and Penny. His mouth goes completely dry and his cock springs up ready for action at the sight of her sexy lingerie.

He can't believe what he is looking at. She truly is the sexiest vixen he has ever seen. The idea that she keeps all of these milky white curves hidden under her drab librarian wardrobe makes Sheldon appreciate them that much more.

Sheldon: "And now my mouth is dry too."

Amy smiles at him as he checks out her body and writes down dry mouth as his latest symptom. She pulls out a hairpin keeping her hair back and Sheldon smiles as her long pretty locks falls softly down around her slightly hunched shoulders.

Amy: "That's good Dr. Cooper very good. Now can we proceed with the experiment?"

Sheldon: "Wait, are my pupils dilating too?"

Amy sits down on the bed next to Sheldon and peers into his big blue eyes. She nods at him so he writes down dilated pupils on his check list. Amy then takes the notepad and pen away from him as she leans in for a kiss. She stops just short of touching his lips waiting for him to close the deal. He closes his eyes first then Sheldon gently presses his lips against hers. She gently pushes his lips open with her mouth and quickly inserts her tongue inside his mouth.

Sheldon's eyes pop open in shock when she does this, but she doesn't stop kissing him. Amy continues to probe his mouth with her tongue as she wraps her arms behind his head to pull him closer. He has no idea what to do so he just closes his eyes again and lets her finish. She finally pulls her lips back then Amy smiles at Sheldon's still puckered up lips and closed eyes.

He opens his eyes again wondering why she has stopped because he was actually beginning to enjoy her tongue in his mouth though he can't understand why he would. Before he can even question Amy about it she starts unbuttoning his pajama top. Sheldon watches her fingers undress him for a moment then he kisses her again.

Amy: "You want me now don't you?"

Sheldon: "Yes."

Sheldon blushes as he moves her long brown hair away from her face and off her shoulder. Amy points her finger at the small crease where her neck meets her left shoulder. She smiles at him as he stares at the space.

Amy: "Kiss me where I've never been kissed before."

He leans down and gently kisses her neck then he looks up into her eyes waiting for her response to it. Amy throws her head back and takes hold of his hand.

Amy: "More! Kiss me more."

Sheldon kisses her neck again then he branches out to kissing her shoulder until Amy starts breathing loudly. He stops curiously when he hears this worried she's going to have an asthma attack.

Sheldon: "Are you okay?"

Amy: "Yes! Keep going."

He returns to kissing her neck and shoulders until Amy moves away from him. She stands up quickly and tugs at his pajama bottoms. Sheldon helps her get them off then he removes his plain white undershirt. He reaches for the blanket to modestly cover himself back up, but Amy stops him.

Amy: "No, I want to see."

Sheldon: "Why?"

Amy smirks at him as she sits back down on the bed and stares at his handsome physique.

Amy: "You look great your skin has that pale, waxy quality."

He stares at her not quite sure how to respond to that assessment of his looks.

Sheldon: "And that's a good thing?"

Amy nods happily as she puts her palm against his chest.

Amy: "Oh yes, it's the new sexy! You're practically glowing."

Sheldon: "Uh…okay. Thanks. You um...look pale too."

She smiles then takes hold of her front-facing bra clasp.

Amy: "Close your eyes and hold out your hands for me Sheldon."

Sheldon holds his hands out in front of his chest then he shuts his eyes. Amy unhooks her bra and lets her boobs fall into his open palms. He squeezes them gently like fruit and smiles as he examines their texture and proportion. As his fingers graze her perky nipples she giggles and whispers into his ear.

Amy: "I should tell you the circumference of my right areola is one point seven inches and my left is one point five."

He smiles and finally reopens his eyes so he can look at them.

Sheldon: "Interesting. Have you weighed your breast too?"

Amy: "Not yet, I've thought about it, but then I decided to wait until marriage."

He nods in agreement as if that makes total sense to him.

Sheldon: "Wise decision. I've known my average sperm count for years, but have not yet measured their length. You know out of respect for my mother."

Amy: "Totally understandable. But, just so you know I do have a microscope for that at home."

She smiles secretly hopes one day he will ask her to marry him so they will be able to weigh her breasts and measure his sperm on their honeymoon after the coitus. But, for now Amy is satisfied with the progress they are making and ready to give up her virginity.

**Author's Note: I'll post the last chapter of this story next. I hope you all enjoy reading these chapters. Take care. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: This is the final chapter of the story and it is Rated M for lots of the graphic sexual content so enjoy. **

**Chapter 14: The Cuddles Conclusion. **

Sheldon continues fondling Amy's breasts until her nipples turn bright pink. She moans.

He begins carefully counting each freckle on her chest. Sheldon pretends its part of their experiment as he creates a fun new game for himself by mapping out constellations in space between each little freckle connecting them all with imaginary lines.

Amy glances down at his fingers trailing across her bare chest and arms. Amy giggles then she trembles a bit as she watches him. She quickly figures out what he is doing to her and starts doing the same thing to the freckles on his body.

Amy: "Did you find Ursa Major yet?"

Sheldon: "Not yet. Wait! There it is!"

Amy smiles glad that he is having fun playing with her. But, she is so ready to get this show on the road so she picks up his wandering finger with both hands and puts it in her mouth. Sheldon tries to pulls it away at first, but the unique feeling of her sucking on his finger sends exquisite electric signals straight down to his genitals causing him incredible pleasure. His erection grows even bigger with each lick of her tongue and Sheldon closes his eyes completely flabbergasted by the sensations.

Sheldon: "Oh dear Lord! Your mouth is like magic!"

She takes his finger out of her mouth and smiles at him. Then she looks down at his massive erection and grins even wider.

Amy: "Are you ready for third base Dr. Cooper?"

He suddenly feels very nervous as he stares into her lust-filled eyes.

Sheldon: "Uh…and what exactly is your definition of third base?"

Amy whispers the definition into Sheldon's ear and he gasps out loud when he hears what she wants him to do to her.

Sheldon: "Oh you can't be serious!?"

She smirks at him as she gets off the bed and locates her favorite electric toothbrush.

Amy: "Dead serious. It is time you meet Gerard."

She reaches down and pulls her panties open just enough to give Sheldon a quick peek then Amy turns Gerard on. Sheldon's mouth hangs wide open in complete shock as he watches her do this. He had no idea that women even use their toothbrushes for such a purpose.

A part of him wants to look away totally freaked out by what he sees, but he can't turn away from her. Like all good scientists he is way too curious not to observe her every move. Amy presses the vibrating brushes up against her most sensitive area. She groans and sighs excitedly then she walks back over to the bed and lies down next to him.

Amy: "Here take Gerard and grip him firmly like this Dr. Cooper."

Sheldon: "You actually enjoy this!?"

Amy nods her head and positions the toothbrush so he can take over for her.

Amy: "Yes, and Penny's Cosmopolitan magazine says it great for foreplay."

Sheldon: "Oh Amy that can't possibly be sanitary!"

Amy: "Don't be silly! I don't use him to brush my teeth too. Gerard is only for this purpose and I always sterilized him when I'm done. Besides, this is more sanitary than cunnilingus and fellatio which is what most people do when they reach third base. I didn't think you would be comfortable doing that yet so this is a much cleaner option for us. Come on just give it a try…please."

He frowns at her warily for a second trying to decide whether or not to proceed with this new sexual procedure. But, he can't resist her pouty sweet face. Sheldon realizes there is no going back now so he sighs at her.

Sheldon: "Fine! But, this will definitely not be in my weekly email blast."

He anxiously takes hold of the toothbrush then Sheldon looks at Amy waiting for directions on what to do next.

Amy: "Just pretend you are brushing your teeth, but do it gently."

She smiles up at him as he holds it with both hands and closes his eyes so he can concentrate better. Sheldon has always had very good oral hygiene, so he moves the toothbrush in small soft circular motions like he knows nine out of ten dentists recommend. He moves Gerard around as though he were massaging his gums.

Sheldon can't believe she is making him do this, but when Amy starts moaning louder he quickly forgets all about how totally strange this whole thing seems. He finally reopens his eyes to look at her as she calls out to him enamored with how hot she looks in this spread eagle position.

Amy: "Mmmmm…yes….don't stop Sheldon! Don't Stop! "

He continues to softly probe her genital area with the toothbrush and Amy begins to squeeze the sheets with her hands. She arches her back and pelvis upward breathing heavily then Amy moans out loud again.

Amy: "Ooooo…yes….now move it to the left a little."

Sheldon studies her facial expressions and body cues with total fascination. He moves the toothbrush to the left and Amy grabs hold of his wrists in a tight grip lock.

Amy: "Just like that! Yes… Sheldon… Yes! Oooo…right there! Faster!"

Her passionate moans remind him of his Flatland fantasy about her and he innocently blushes more and more with every pleasurable sigh and moan that comes out of her mouth. Sheldon probes her faster and Amy throws her head back against a pillow as she shakes and comes. Then she buries her face in the pillow trying to muffle her screams.

Amy: "Oh yes! Yes!"

Sheldon watches and listens to her every move amazed by all the new sights and sounds he is currently witnessing. He replies in a calm and interested manner to her reaction.

Sheldon: "Remarkable."

After a few more seconds of erotic spastic shaking Amy finally composes herself enough to grab on to Gerard. She turns the electric toothbrush off and pulls it out of her panties. Sheldon reaches for his notepad and pen again to write down his new sexual discoveries.

He had no idea being intimate with Amy would be like this, but Sheldon notices right away that both his ears and genitalia are throbbing together in unison. He adds this information to his growing list of sexual symptoms and then he looks back at Amy.

Amy: "That was amazing!"

She leans over the bed to quickly check the time on Sheldon's Star Trek watch.

Amy: "My god usually it takes me and Gerard at least ten minutes to reach orgasm, but you managed to get us there in fewer than seven. You're a natural at this Dr. Cooper!"

Sheldon: "Thank you. I've been using a toothbrush at least three times a day, every day since I was two years old, so I've got a lot of practice just not quite in this context."

Amy: "Well now it's your turn! Let me give you a massage."

Sheldon: "Uh…alright, but don't come near me with that toothbrush!"

Amy nods at him and puts Gerard away inside the top drawer of the nightstand.

Amy: "Lie down and turn over on your back."

He lies down in the middle of the bed on his stomach while Amy hovers over him. She firmly begins to massage his back and shoulders with her hands kneading each and every muscle. Amy kisses his shoulder blades then she presses her naked chest against Sheldon's back.

Sheldon: "Oh my…. you're skin is so soft."

Amy: "Thank you. I've used lotion at least four times a day, every day since I was three, so you know I've been properly moisturized for years."

She continues rubbing and kissing his shoulders for a few more minutes until she pats Sheldon on the side to get his attention.

Amy: "Okay, its time to slide into home plate."

Sheldon: "What is with all the baseball metaphors?"

Amy sighs and tries hard not to laugh at his confusion.

Amy: "Just turn over."

He sighs at her then quickly turns onto his back and props the pillows up behind his head. Amy removes Sheldon's underwear with both hands then she straddles herself over his waist. Amy tries the pretzel move on him again and continues rubbing him all the way down from his chest to his aesthetically pleasing genitals.

She slowly twists and turns her fingers up and down on his penis and Sheldon's eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. Sheldon starts yelling out strange Klingon words like a crazy person. He swears in Klingon and bites his tongue to keep from coming right away. She has no idea what he is saying, but she can tell by his facial expressions that he won't be able to hold out much longer so Amy stops moving her twisted pretzel fingers.

Amy: "Sheldon! Sheldon! Breathe baby, just breathe. Don't release yet!"

Sheldon grabs Amy's shoulders and pulls himself up closer to her, but she just pushes him back down on the bed again like a true dominatrix. She leans down and kisses him once on the lips hard then she bites his ear. The pleasurable pain of it distracts him just enough to keep Sheldon from exploding. Amy sits up again then she takes a big deep breath and inhales in as if she is about to go swimming underwater.

Amy closes her eyes then in one quick flash she presses herself down on top of his penis.

His eyes pop open again very wide and he grabs hold of the bed sheets surprised by the tightness of being inside of her for the first time ever. He looks up at Amy and realizes she actually looks scared now like she is in pain. Amy keeps her eyes closed as she waits for the initial shock to her genital area to subside. Sheldon gently leans his head up and kisses her cheek hoping that his kiss will relax her a bit then he buries his face in her hair.

After several awkward moments of stillness Amy finally feels comfortable enough to move her body again. She begins to rock her hips slowly back and forth trying desperately to adjust to his size. At first it feels very strange and awkward, but when Amy hears Sheldon moan she realizes the pain is not so bad and she starts to relax her inner muscles. She continues rocking her pelvis against his and within seconds he is almost ready to climax.

Sheldon: "Oh God! Oh God! OHHHHHHHHHHH… MY… GO… STOP AMY!

He has one last relapse back to his crazy old Sheldon as the scary uncertainty of the moment takes over his senses. Sheldon panics a bit and tries to push her off him, but Amy grasps on to his shoulder tightly pushing him back down on the bed again so he can't escape her. Then she looks into his worried eyes while gently stroking his hair.

Amy: "Shhh…..its okay, baby its okay."

Sheldon: "But I…."

Amy: "Shhh…just let go."

She wraps her legs around his legs to keep from falling off him. Sheldon finally can't help but to rock his hips back against her unable to resist the intense pleasure anymore he shuts his eyes too scared and excited to look anymore.

Amy rolls her hips faster and faster and within seconds Sheldon explodes and shouts out a ton of scientific gibberish and equations when he comes. He spasms and ticks uncontrollably. Amy smiles as she watches him then she kisses his chest so happy that she was able to make coitus finally happen for them.

After a few more gentle kisses on his neck, chest and shoulders she moves off his sweaty body to relax and pulls the sheets up to cover herself. Amy lets Sheldon calm down a little more then she snuggles up to him when he finally reopens his eyes his breathing still ragged. He looks into her warm comforting tea eyes totally amazed by everything that just happened between them and feeling happier than he's felt in a very long time. Sheldon can barely think at all, but after a few more silent moments he manages to finally speak to her again.

Sheldon:_** "Nemaiyo**__**."**_

Amy stares at him confused by his strange word.

Amy: "Huh?"

Sheldon: "Its Vulcan, it means thank you."

She stares into his eyes for a second longer then Amy grins.

Amy: "I see. Well then, _**Qay'be**_."

Sheldon blinks his eyes in awe as she smirks at him. He can't even believe Amy has actually learned how to say "You're Welcome in Klingon. He is so ecstatic that she is finally starting to appreciate Star Trek that he kisses her.

Sheldon: "So was I aloof, yet satisfying enough for you?"

Amy: "Oh yes, I said so. I even propose that we do this experiment again soon."

Sheldon: "Very well, I'll accept your proposal. But, right now I feel sleepy."

Amy nods her head then gently kisses his forehead as she lets Sheldon lay his head down on her chest so he can rest while enjoying the sex induced mix of chemicals and endorphins running through his brain. Sheldon yawns softly with exhaustion as he closes his eyes ready to sleep.

Sheldon: "Goodnight, Amy."

Amy smiles as she also closes her eyes too and squeezes him close in her arms.

Amy: "Goodnight Cuddles."

_**The End. **_

**Author's Note: I hope you've all enjoyed reading The Cooper-Fowler Proposal as much as I've enjoyed writing it. This is my first finished Big Bang fanfic so I'm really happy about that and I plan to write more stories in the future. I should have the first chapter of my new SHAMY story called Return of the Princess up very soon so I hope you will all check that one out too. **

**The new story is also a tie in fic with my Schrodinger's Catastrophe storyline and centers around a pivotal romantic dream Sheldon has about trying to rescue Amy while traveling through some of his favorite movie and television worlds. Thanks again to all of you for reading The Cooper-Fowler Proposal and take care everybody. **


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